Esther still remains silent, but turns her long neck from one side to
the other with a restless, uneasy motion.
"Are lamplight and the small hours indispensable accessories?" he asks,
with gentle pleading in look and words--"or could not you tell me as
well now?"
"Tell you what?" she says, turning round sharp upon him, and snapping,
as a little cross dog snaps at the heels of the passer-by--"must I
invent something?"
"Are you sure that it is _necessary_ to invent?" he asks, scanning the
fair, troubled face with searching gaze.
She pulls a bunch of nuts out of the hedge from among their
rough-ribbed green leaves, and begins to pick them out of their
sheath. "What am I to tell you?" she says, petulantly, a suspicion that
he may have heard a rumour of her engagement crossing her mind: "that
I live in an old farmhouse with my brother Jack, and that we are very
hard up--you know already; that 'Su dry da chi' is Welsh for 'How do
you do?' and that our asparagus has answered very badly this year?"
"Of course, I cannot force your confidence," he answers, rather coldly.
"Why do you insist upon my having something to confide? What reason
have you for supposing that I have?" she cries, with increased
irritation.
"None whatever, but what you yourself have given me!"
"_I!_"
"Yes, _you;_ not your words, but your face now and then. Don't think me
impertinent. You know what unhappy reason I have had to be suspicious.
But tell me" (trying his best to get a look round the corner into the
averted, perturbed face of his companion)--"tell me whether there is
not something between you and--and--that fellow that gave you the
prayer-book?"
Esther's heart gives one great bounding throb; the thin muslin of her
dress but poorly conceals its hard, quick pulsings.
One more chance for her! Fate generally gives us two or three chances
before it allows us to consign ourselves irrecoverably to the dogs. One
more choice between loyalty and disloyalty--a plain question, to be
answered plainly, unequivocally--Yes or No; Robert or St. John. The man
whose conversation bores her, whose proximity and whose gaze leave her
colder than snow on an alp's high top an hour before sunrise, and with
whom she has promised to live till death do them part; or the man, no
whit better or handsomer, whose coming, felt, though unseen, makes her
whole frame vibrate, as a harp's strings vibrate under the player's
hands--beneath whose eyes hers sink down bashful, yet passionate--the
man whom, after this week, she must see never again until death do them
unite. Woman-like, she tries to avoid the alternative.
"What is that to you?" she retorts, abruptly, endeavouring to be
playful, and succeeding only in being rude.
"Nothing whatever," he replies, flushing angrily; and then they walk on
for some distance in silence.
"Are you angry?" asks Esther, presently, with a smile, half saucy, half
frightened.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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