And Esther--"You ought not to grieve for him; it is a happy change for
him; he is in Heaven!" So they had said to her weepingly, as people do
say to us, when the desire of our eyes has left us; but even as they
spake them, she felt that they were but words, hollow and empty as the
greetings in the market-place with which we salute our indifferent
acquaintance. Was she so sure that the change had been a happy one?
It was a change from the known to the unknown, from moderate certain
evils, and moderate probable good, to infinite possibilities of horror
or blessedness. Where lay this heaven, this promised land, where we so
confidently lodge our dead? Was it up above that highest bluest arch
that looks in truth pure enough, and solid enough, to be the floor
of some sweet elysium? Ah! no! Human knowledge, that like a naughty,
prying child, has found out at once so infinitely too much and too
little, tells us that that skyey vault is but thin air. She thinks,
shuddering--"What if heaven itself be but thin air? _Is it anywhere?_
What if its existence at all be but the fine-spun fancy of poor human
hearts, that must needs frame for themselves some blessed definite
hope, since _real_ hope have they none? Is it a beautiful tender fraud
practised by themselves upon themselves, to save them from the despair
of the black vagueness into which they must send out their departed
ones, and go out themselves when life's little day is over? Oh, light!
light! When the great God said, 'Let there be light!' in the material
world, why did not He say so too in the world of spirits? I know that
my soul shall live for ever! I know that there is that within me over
which the most insatiable of monsters, insatiabler than any slain in
classic tale--a monster that turns beauty to unsightliness, whose
handmaid is corruption, and whose drink is tears--has no power. But
alas! alas! can I rejoice in my immortality, when I know not where,
or under what conditions, those endless, endless æons will roll
themselves away into the past?"
* * * * *
"We must bow beneath the rod," says old Mrs. Brandon, nodding her head
and her poke bonnet. It is the identical poke bonnet, and not another,
in which she once paid her congratulatory visit. The summer sun had
browned it a little, but otherwise it is in a state of high efficiency.
"We must bow beneath the rod, knowing that it is a _tender Father's_
hand that wields it."
"I suppose so," answers Esther, listlessly. To her it seems a matter of
indifference whose hand it was that inflicted such an immedicable hurt,
seeing that it has been inflicted by some one, and now yawns, a gaping
rift in her soul, never to be assuaged by any balsam.
"Suppose!" cries Miss Bessy, her long, uncertain nose reddening a
little in her righteous zeal, at the slackness of Esther's faith.
"Surely, surely, if we are _Believers_, there can be no '_suppose_' in
such a case."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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