And, in the meantime, that other woman droops like an unwatered flower,
day by day. When the mainspring of a watch is broken, must it not stop?
If hope, the mainspring of life, be broken, must not life stop--not all
at once, as the watch does, but by gentle yet sure degrees? A slow fire
burns in the child's veins; before this man had come, she had peace--a
sad stagnant peace, indeed, but still peace. _Now_ she lives in a state
of perpetual concealed excitement. True, they meet but rarely, speak to
each other never; but the same roof covers them both. From her outlook
in the China Gallery, she can watch his going forth in the morning,
his coming back at evening. At breakfast and dinner he sits opposite
to her; she can study his face, with stealthy care, lest she may be
observed, while he drives heavily through slow trite talk with her that
fills the place in his life that, for a golden day, from one sundown
to another, was Esther's. Sometimes they meet upon the stairs; her
black dress lightly touches him, as they pass one another dumbly. At
night she lies awake, waiting to catch the sound of his footfall in the
gallery past her door; has to wait long hours often; for he, unknowing
that any one takes note of his vigils, sits in the smoking-room far
into the small hours, puffing out of his well-coloured meerschaum
great volumes of smoke--wishing, not seldom, I think, that he could
puff away Constance, his beloved, into smoke volumes and thin air.
Fed by no kindly words, nourished only upon neglect and cold looks,
Esther's love for Gerard yet strikes out great roots downwards--shoots
forth strong branches upwards. A tree of far statelier growth it stands
than in the days when the soft gales and gentle streams of answering
love fanned and watered it. Who cares for what they can have? Who
cries for the moon? It is the intermediate something--the something
that lies just a handbreadth beyond the utmost stretch of our most
painfully-strained arms, that we eat out our hearts in longing for.
Esther never goes beyond the park palings now, deterred by the fear of
being waylaid by Linley. She need not have been alarmed. As long as she
came naturally in his way, he was delighted to see her: as we stoop and
pick gladly the fruit that drops off the tree at our feet. He had even,
on a day when the frost forbade hunting, and when he had got tired of
skating, taken the unwonted trouble of riding over to Blessington, to
warm himself at the fire of those great black eyes, that have still
for him the charm of novelty upon them; but women, many and fair, came
too readily to his hand to make him very keen in the chase of any one
individual woman. In former generations men used to be the pursuers,
women the pursued. In this generation we, who have set right most
things, have set right this also. _Now_, the hares pursue the harriers,
the foxes the hounds, and the doves swoop upon the falcons.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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