I thought I was fairly punctual, but when I burst into the sitting-room I found the ‘Three Little Wives’ in one arm-chair gloating over ‘Gals’ Gossip.’ ‘I must apologize for Lord Gilderdale not being here to receive you,’ I began, when a lady whom I subsequently discovered to be Miss Tiny Trimmer clustered round me and murmured sweetly ‘Oh! don’t let that worry you! I suppose you’re Martha?’ From which I gathered that Squiff had not spent all his time behind the basket on the preceding evening. After the sweet thing had introduced me to Ruby and Tweenie as Mr. Martha Cochrane, ‘the friend of Kiddy’s boy,’ we proceeded to make ourselves comfortable on the sofa but were immediately disturbed by Freddy who burst in like a whirlwind, exclaiming, ‘I’m awfully sorry I’m late, girls, but I see the lady of the house has received you,’ and then, ‘where’s Ina?’ ‘Oh I expect she’s still on the river with the Rajah,’ said Ruby. ‘What, old Jellipore?’ cried the Pilot, as he came into the room; ‘curse those Basutos.’ Further introductions were followed by the arrival of Reggie and the tea-tray, which was presided over by the Pilot, who seemed rather in the cold pending the arrival of Miss Carlton. During the meal the conversation ranged from Oxford to St. John’s Wood via Rhodes’ Will and Protection, and on its conclusion Freddy took Tiny into our other sitting-room to inspect my curious collection of birds’ eggs. Miss Ina Carlton not yet having arrived, the Pilot improvised on the piano while I gave Tweenie Tarn my views on marriage, and Reggie in a distant corner discussed the relative merits of Oxford and Cambridge with the delicious Ruby Ramsden. After a bit we discovered that the Pilot had silently departed, and then Reggie considerately offered to take the fair Ruby on the river for an hour, and they left accordingly. At half-past six we smoothed out the dents in the sofa, and Tweenie said she ‘really must go.’ We thought it kinder not to go into the other sitting-room, but Tweenie enquired from the passage if Tiny meant to go home before the show or not. As no answer was forthcoming, after a somewhat protracted farewell in the hall, I put Tweenie into a hansom and went up to dress for dinner. I did not hear Miss Trimmer depart, and when I left the house at seven the dining-room door was still closed. All through the evening the Pilot was in a state of suppressed rage, inspired by the unfortunate Rajah of Jellipore, who had, probably quite unconsciously, kept Miss Carlton out on the river about three hours too long.