‘I think,’ Fatty had begun, when hurried steps sounded on the stairs
and von Graussman appeared clad in a most curious costume, and with
unbrushed hair. To him Squiff immediately said, ‘I don’t think, old
chap, that you ought to present yourself in a costume like that before
the Treasurer of the Cecil’s Mutual Help Society, you look as if you
hadn’t been to bed all night, and then had got up too early, if such a
thing is possible.’
‘It vos alright perhaps that I must be given nineteen
pounds by Mr. Fatty from the moneys of the lately
formed-and-much-to-be-commended-by-needy-gentlemens-’Elp-Clubs,’ he
remarked in one breath.
‘Once more!’ shrieked Squiff ecstatically.
‘I vos not repeading,’ replied von Graussman with dignity, ‘in der
worts of Bilate vot I vos say I had shpoken.’
‘What Pilate really said--’ began Squiff, when Fatty who had sunk into
a sort of reverie, suddenly awoke and thumped on the table vigorously.
‘The valuable time of the Treasurer is being frittered away,’ he
remarked solemnly. ‘The case of the O’Rossa is under consideration. He
has explained his need for twenty pounds; the only remaining formality
is the pledging of his word. When he has done that I will hand over
the cheque.’ Squiff, who had been speaking to von Graussman, hurriedly
pledged his word and left to catch the 12.10 to town, while von
Graussman proceeded to pour into Fatty’s ears a long and disconnected
tale in which the words, ‘Boliceman,’ ‘damnable,’ ‘fraulein,’ and
‘gompensations,’ appeared frequently, so Fatty gathered that it had
some reference to an escapade in town during the week before term.
However, as von Graussman was prepared to swear to the urgency of
the circumstances, he saw no reason why he should not advance the
amount, but discovered to his horror that there were only fifteen
pounds left. He explained this to the German, who replied that ‘he
could sew der matters up mit so much,’ and went off with the Club’s
last money. Fatty, who saw in this a speedy ending to the worries of a
Treasurership, contentedly entered the amounts in his book, and then
took a cab to his History Lecture at James’.
It was only when Freddy casually applied for two pounds to pay Foundry
deceased--on account--that he discovered that the end of the money did
not imply the end of his troubles.
‘You lent twenty pounds to Squiff,’ screamed Freddy; ‘why, you know
he’s overdrawn his next month’s allowance and pawned his dressing case.’
‘I didn’t know,’ replied Fatty placidly, ‘besides, it seems to me that
those are the very circumstances in which the Club becomes useful and
even necessary.’
‘Yes, but,’ retorted Freddy, ‘he won’t be able to pay it back for
weeks, and I know I shall want to borrow next week.’
‘Come early and leave early,’ remarked the Treasurer irritatingly. ‘If
you’d come at half-past ten when the office opens you might have got
something. As it is you must wait till some one pays in.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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