It was the first of many similar trips. Arthur Chester may fairly have
been said to spend the succeeding fortnight in the company of the Green
Imp and its driver. From morning till night, and often in the night
itself when he found it impossible to sleep, he was living in the open
air by means of this device. Of walking, also, he did an increasing
amount as his strength grew under the regimen Burns insisted upon. But
for the first week, in spite of all the help his physician could give
him, he found himself indeed involved in a fierce struggle--a struggle
with shaken and unmanageable nerves; with a desperate craving for the
soothing, uplifting effect of the drug to which he was forced to admit
he had become perilously accustomed; with a black depression of spirit
which was worse than anything else he had to combat.
It was at the worst of one of these periods of darkness that, alone with
his patient upon a hilltop where the two had climbed, leaving the
Green Imp at a point where the road had become impossible, Burns said
suddenly:
“Ches, I believe, with all my care to give you the treatment I thought
you needed, I've failed to point out the most potent remedy of all.”
Chester shook his head. “You've done everything, Red. All the trouble's
with me. I'm so pitiably weak--so much weaker than I ever dreamed I
could be. I can't seem to care whether I get out of this or not. All I
want is to lie down and go to sleep--and never wake up.”
The last words came under his breath, but Burns heard them. He showed no
sign of being startled, though this mood was a gloomier one than he had
yet seen his patient succumb to. Instead, he went on talking in a tone
of confidence:
“I ought to have known enough to apply this remedy, because it's one
I've tried myself. If you could know, since the night you heard me
make a certain vow, what a time I've had with myself to keep it, you'd
understand that I know what it means to try to break up a habit.
Mine's the habit of years. With my temper and some of my associations,
intemperate profanity's been the easiest thing in the world to fall
into. When things went wrong, out would come the oaths like water out
of a spring--though that's a false comparison: like the filth out of a
sewer, I'd better say.”
“We all swear more or less,” acknowledged Chester, his head in his
hands.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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