Hard years followed for Rachel. She ate the bread of carefulness in the
houses of poor relations not of high degree, with whom her parents had
quarrelled when they had made their money and began to entertain social
ambitions. She learned what it was to be the person of least importance
in families of no importance. She essayed to teach, and failed. She had
no real education. She made desperate struggles for independence, and
learned how others failed besides herself. She left her relations and
their bitter bread and came to London, and struggled with those who
struggled, and saw how Temptation spreads her net for bleeding feet.
Because she loved Hester she accepted from her half her slender
pin-money. Hester had said, "If I were poor, Rachel, how would you bear
it if I would not let you help me?" And Rachel had wept slow, difficult
tears, and had given Hester the comfort of helping her. The greater
generosity was with Rachel, and Hester knew it.
And as Rachel's fortunes sank, Hester's rose. Lady Susan Gresley had one
talent, and she did not lay it up in a napkin. She had the art of
attracting people to her house, that house to which Mrs. West had never
forced an entrance. Hester was thrown from the first into a society
which her clergyman brother, who had never seen it, pronounced to be
frivolous, worldly, profane, but which no one has called dull. There
were many facets in Hester's character, and Lady Susan had managed to
place her where they caught the light. Was she witty? Was she
attractive? Who shall say? Man is wisely averse to "cleverness" in a
woman, but if he possesses any armor wherewith to steel himself against
wit it is certain that he seldom puts it on. She refused several offers,
one so brilliant that no woman ever believed that it was really made.
Lady Susan saw that her niece, without a fortune, with little beauty
save that of high breeding, with weak health, was becoming a personage.
"What will she become?" people said. And in the meanwhile Hester did
nothing beyond dressing extremely well. And everything she saw and every
person she met added fuel to an unlit fire in her soul.
At last Rachel was able to earn a meagre living by type-writing, and for
four years, happy by contrast with those when despair and failure had
confronted her, she lived by the work of her hands among those poor as
herself. Gradually she had lost sight of all her acquaintances. She had
been out of the school-room for too short a time to make friends. And,
alas! in the set in which she had been launched poverty was a crime; no,
perhaps not quite that, but as much a bar to intercourse as in another
class a want of the letter _h_ is found to be.
It was while Rachel was still struggling for a livelihood that the event
happened which changed the bias of her character, as a geranium
transplanted from the garden changes its attitude in a cottage window.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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