Rachel had left London precipitately after she had been the unwilling
confidante of Lady Newhaven's secret, and had taken refuge with that
friend of all perplexed souls, the Bishop of Southminster. She felt
unable to meet Hugh again without an interval of breathing-time. She
knew that if she saw much more of him he would confide in her, and she
shrank from receiving a confidence the ugliest fact of which she already
knew. Perhaps she involuntarily shrank also from fear lest he should
lower himself in her eyes by only telling her half the truth. Sad
confessions were often poured into Rachel's ears which she had known for
years. She never alluded to that knowledge, never corrected the half-lie
which accompanies so many whispered self--accusations. Confidences and
confessions are too often a means of evasion of justice--a laying of the
case for the plaintiff before a judge without allowing the defendant to
be present or to call a witness. Rachel, by dint of long experience,
which did slowly for her the work of imagination, had ceased to wonder
at the faithfully chronicled harsh words and deeds of generous souls.
She knew or guessed at the unchronicled treachery or deceit which had
brought about that seemingly harsh word or deed.
She had not the exalted ideas about her fellow-creatures which Hester
had, but she possessed the rare gift of reticence. She exemplified the
text--"Whether it be to friend or foe, talk not of other men's lives."
And in Rachel's quiet soul a vast love and pity dwelt for these same
fellow-creatures. She had lived and worked for years among those whose
bodies were half starved, half clothed, degraded. When she found money
at her command she had spent sums (as her lawyer told her) out of all
proportion on that poor human body, stumbling between vice and
starvation. But now, during the last year, when her great wealth had
thrown her violently into society, she had met, until her strong heart
flinched before it, the other side of life--the starved soul in the
delicately nurtured, richly clad body, the atrophied spiritual life in
hideous contrast with the physical ease and luxury which were choking
it. The second experience was harder to bear than the first. And just as
in the old days she had shared her bread and cheese with those hungrier
than herself, and had taken but little thought for those who had bread
and to spare, so now she felt but transient interest in those among her
new associates who were successfully struggling against the blackmail of
luxury, the leprosy of worldliness, the selfishness that at last coffins
the soul it clothes. Her heart yearned instead towards the spiritually
starving, the tempted, the fallen in that great little world, whose
names are written in the book, not of life, but of Burke--the little
world which is called "Society."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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