It was one which, like a floating log after the rapids are past,
always came to the surface of Paul Macleod's life when the turmoil of
emotion was over. This time it brought an unpleasant surprise with it,
for to tell truth he had imagined himself secure against assault. He
had considered the situation calmly; had, so to speak, played with it,
asserting his power of evading its natural consequences if he chose,
of accepting them if he considered it worth while. And now, with his
heart still beating, his face still flushed, and with Jeanie's kisses
still tingling on his lips, it was no use denying that he had been
taken by storm. And it annoyed him. Suddenly the thought that it was
just the sort of scrape his brother would have fallen into came to
enhance the odd contempt which Paul Macleod's head always had for his
heart. The certainty, however, that he shared that brother's extremely
emotional nature was so unwelcome that it served for a time to
strengthen him in denial of his own weakness of will. After all,
impulse was the essence of passion. Had he not, recognising this,
voluntarily bade reason and prudence step aside. Would not any man
have been a fool to think twice of the future with Jeanie Duncan's
face ready to be kissed? It was worth something; in a way it was worth
all the rest of the world put together. So the serio-comedy might have
ended as such serio-comedies usually do but for the merest triviality;
nothing more nor less than the perception that he had tarred his hands
in vaulting over the gate! The offending stains sobered him, as no
advice, no reasoning, no reproof, could have done. To begin with,
there was no possibility of denying to himself that, be Love what it
may, he, Paul Macleod, would never in a calm moment of volition have
dirtied his hands in that fashion. He hated to be touched or soiled by
common things, without, as it were, a "by your leave." Then there was
a prophetic tinge in the consequences of his setting barriers at
defiance which appealed to his imagination. After all, would it be
worth while to carry about for the rest of your life an indelible mark
of a past pleasure, which could scarcely fail to become a disagreeable
reminiscence, no matter what was the _denouement_ of the present
situation? Marriage? Hardly that. Not only was he too poor to marry
for love, but was it by any means certain that such love as this was
worth the sacrifice of freedom. On the other hand, the only possible
alternative was, to begin with, such shocking bad form. The Macleods
of Gleneira had always kept straight in Gleneira itself. Besides, if
he harmed the girl in any way, he knew perfectly well that the regret
would be a tie to him all his life. That was the worst of having an
imagination. Other men might do it; he could not, if only for his own
sake. Then there was Jeanie, to think of poor little Jeanie, who
didn't even grasp the fact that she was in danger--who would----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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