Red Saunders: His Adventures West & EastPhillips, Henry Wallace
General
Red Saunders: His Adventures West & East
Phillips, Henry Wallace
Fiction; Humorous stories
"So the Hotel-man set 'em up, and that made one drink. Then Jones
said he'd never let a drink suffer from lonesomeness yet when he
had the price, and that made two drinks. I had to uphold the
honour of the ranch, and that made three drinks. Hotel-man said it
was up-sticks now, and he meant to pay his just debts like an
honest man, and that made four drinks, then Jones said--well, by
this time I see I needn't have hurried breakfast so much. More
people came in. I woke up the next morning in the same old
bedroom. Every breakfast Aggy and me got ready to pull for the
mines, and every morning I woke up in the bedroom. I should like
to draw a veil over the next two weeks, but it would have to be a
pretty strong veil to hold it. I tried to keep level with Aggy,
but he'd spend three dollars to my one, and the consequence of that
was that we went broke within fifteen minutes of each other.
"Well, sir, we were a mournful pair to draw to that day. We sat
there and cussed and said, 'Now, why didn't we do this, that, and
t'other thing instead of blowing our hard earned dough?'--till
bimeby we just dripped melancholy, you might say. Howsomever, we
weren't booked for a dull time just yet. That afternoon there was
a great popping of whips like an Injun skirmish and into town comes
a bull train half-a-mile long. Twelve yoke of bulls to the team;
lead, swing, and trail waggons for each, as big as houses on
wheels. You don't see the like of that in this country. Down the
street they come, the dust flying, whips cracking and the lads
hollering 'Whoa haw, Mary--up there! Wherp! whoa haw.'
"And those fellers had picked up dry throats, walking in the dust.
Also, they had a month's wages aching in their pockets. We hadn't
much mor'n got the thump of their arrival out of our ears, when who
comes roaring into town but the Bengal Tiger gang, and they had
four months' wages. Owner of the mine got on a bender and paid
everybody off by mistake. You can hardly imagine how this livened
up things. There ain't nobody less likely to play lame-duck than
me, but there was no dodging the hospitality. The only idea
prevailing was to be rid of the money as soon as possible. The
effects showed right off. You could hear one man telling the folks
for their own good that he was the Old Missouri River, and when he
felt like swelling his banks, it was time for parties who couldn't
swim to hunt the high ground; whilst the gentleman on the next
corner let us know that he was a locomotive carrying three hundred
pounds of steam with the gauge still climbing and the blower on.
When he whistled three times, he said, any intelligent man would
know that there was danger around.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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