Red Saunders: His Adventures West & EastPhillips, Henry Wallace
General
Red Saunders: His Adventures West & East
Phillips, Henry Wallace
Fiction; Humorous stories
"I have a good stomach, that's always done the right thing by me,
when I've done the right thing by _it_," said Red. "And moreover,
just look at the constitution I have to support. But say, old
lady, look at that!" pointing to the clock. "Eleven-thirty; time
decent people were putting up for the night."
The words brought to an acute stage a wandering fear which had
passed through Miss Mattie's mind at intervals during the evening.
Where was she to look for sleeping accommodations for a man? She
revolted against the convention, that, in her own mind, as well as
the rest of Fairfield, forbade the use of her house for the
purpose. Long habit of thought had made these niceties
constitutional. It was almost as difficult for Miss Mattie to say
"I'll fix up your bed right there on the sofa" as it would have
been for Red to pick a man's pocket, yet, when she thought of his
instant and open generosity and what a dismal return therefor it
would be to thrust him out for reasons which she divined would have
no meaning for him, she heroically resolved to throw custom to the
winds, and speak.
But the difficulty was cut in another fashion.
"There's a little barn in the back-yard that caught my eye," said
Red, "and if you'll lend me a blanket I'll roll it out there."
"Sleep in the barn! You'll not do any such thing!" cried Miss
Mattie. "You'll sleep right here on the sofa, or upstairs in my
bed, just as you choose."
"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not. So help me Bob! I'd
smother in here. Had the darnedest time coming on that ever
was--hotels. Little white rooms with the walls coming in on you.
Worse than rattlesnakes for keeping a man awake. Reminds me of the
hospital. Horse fell on me once and smashed me up so that I had to
be sent to get puttied up again, and I never struck such a month as
that since I was born. The doc. told me I mustn't move, but I told
him I'd chuck him out of the window if he tried to stop me, and up
I got. I'd have gone dead sure if they'd held me a week more. I
speak for the barn, Mattie, and I speak real loud; that is, I mean
to say I'm going to sleep in the barn, unless there's somebody a
heap larger than you on the premises. Now, there's no use for you
to talk--I'm going to do just as I say."
"Well, I think that's just dreadful!" said Miss Mattie. "I'd like
to know what folks will think of me to hear I turned my own cousin
out in the barn." Her voice trailed off a little at the end as the
gist of what they might say if he stayed in the house, occurred to
her. "Well," she continued, "if you're set, I suppose I can't
object." Miss Mattie was not a good hand at playing a part.
"I'm set," said Red. "Get me a blanket." As she came in with this,
he added, "Say, Mattie, could you let me have a loaf of bread?
I've got a habit of wanting something to eat in the middle of the
night."
"Certainly! Don't you want some butter with it? Here, I'll fix it
for you on a plate."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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