Red Saunders: His Adventures West & EastPhillips, Henry Wallace
General
Red Saunders: His Adventures West & East
Phillips, Henry Wallace
Fiction; Humorous stories
"Well, sir, I was jarred witless when I laid my eyes on that young
woman. I'd had my mind made up so thorough as to what she must be
that the facts knocked me cold. She was the sweetest, handsomest,
healthiest female I ever see. It would make you believe in fairy
stories again just to look at her. She was all the things a man
ever wanted in this world rolled up in a prize package. Tall,
round and soople, limber and springy in her action as a
thoroughbred, and with something modest yet kind of daring in her
face that would remind you of a good, honest boy. Red, white, and
black were the colours she flew. Hair and eyes black, cheeks and
lips red, and the rest of her white. Now, there's a pile of
difference in them colours; when you say 'red,' for instance, you
ain't cleaned up the subject by a sight. My top-knot's red, but
that wasn't the colour of Loy's cheeks. No; that was a colour I
never saw before nor since. A rose would look like a tomater
alongside of 'em. Then, too, I've seen black eyes so hard and
shiny you could cut glass with 'em. And again that wasn't her
style. The only way you could get a notion of what them eyes were
like would be to look at 'em; you'd remember 'em all right if you
did. Seems like the good Lord was kind of careless when he built
Jonesy, but when he turned that girl out he played square with the
fambly.
"I ain't what you might call a man that's easily disturbed in his
mind, but I know I says to myself that first day, 'If I was ten
year younger, young lady, they'd never lug you back East again.'
Gee, man! There was a time when I'd have pulled the country up by
the roots but I'd have had that girl! I notice I don't fall in
love so violent as the years roll on. I can squint my eye over the
cards now and say, 'Yes, that's a beautiful hand, but I reckon I'd
better stay out,' and lay 'em down without a sigh; whereas, when I
was a young feller, it I had three aces in sight I'd raise the rest
of the gathering right out of their foot-leather--or get caught at
it. Usually I got caught at it, for a man couldn't run the mint
long with the kind of luck I have.
"Well, I was plumb disgusted with the fool way I'd rigged myself
up, but, fortunately for me, Darragh, the station-man, came out
with the girl. 'There's Reddy, from your ranch now, ma'am,' says
he, and when he caught sight of me, 'What's the matter, Red; are
the Injuns up?'
"Darragh was a serious Irishman, and that's the mournfullest thing
on top of the globe; and besides, he believed anything you'd tell
him. There ain't any George Washington strain in my stock, so I
proceeded to get out of trouble.
"'They ain't up exactly,' says I, 'but it looked as if they were a
leetle on the rise, and being as I had a lady to look out for, I
thought I'd play safe.'
"The colour kind of went out of the girl's cheeks. Eastern folks
are scandalous afraid of Injuns.
"'Perhaps I'd better not start?' says she.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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