Red Saunders' Pets and Other CrittersPhillips, Henry Wallace
General
Red Saunders' Pets and Other Critters
Phillips, Henry Wallace
Humorous stories
"I guess I'll try a fall out of the bear," he announced to his
companions, in a tone that informed all of his intention. Gaily he
swung his long legs over the fence and advanced upon Thumper, who, by a
strange coincidence, was poised on the end of his spine, with his feet
in the air and his tongue lolling humorously out of his mouth, as when
I first made his acquaintance. The bear noted the approach from the
corner of his eye, stretched out his paws, examined them critically,
seemed satisfied with the inspection, shook himself thoroughly, and
resigned affairs to Fate.
Jim, stimulated by the remarks of the passengers and their eager
interest in his doings, marched up to Thumper, struck a sparring
attitude, and shuffled around, making sundry little passes and jabs
which the bear ignored.
"Punch him!" cried a voice in the crowd. Jim lunged; the bear ducked,
lazily, but effectually, and the crowd laughed. Jim drove right and
left at his antagonist; the bear parried, ducked, and got away, until
the crowd shrieked with merriment and the Irishman was furious. He
lived to punch that bear, and, at length, he succeeded--square on the
end of Thumper's snout. The bear sneezed, dropped his head, and stared
fixedly at Jim.
"Run!" I yelled--alack! too late. Up rose Thumper to a paralysing
height, higher still went his trusty paw, and down it came, with a
swinging, sidewise blow on the Irishman's neck.
I will maintain, by oath, affirmation, or combat, that Mr. Jim made six
complete revolutions, like a button on a barn door, before he struck
mother earth with the dullest of thuds.
Ten to one that the town was out one Irishman would have seemed a good
business proposition, and, to clinch the assurance, the bear began to
walk on Jim. While the bear kneaded him like a batch of dough, some of
us woke and rushed to the scene of action.
I do not remember clearly how we got out of it. Some pulled at the
bear's chain, and some grabbed Jim by whatever offered a hold. At
length James was rescued, alive and weeping, though three-quarters of
the new suit, including the most useful portion of the nether garments,
remained in Bruin's paws as the spoils of victory. The crowd on the
platform was charmed. This was precisely the thing it had travelled
miles to see.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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