Red Saunders' Pets and Other CrittersPhillips, Henry Wallace
General
Red Saunders' Pets and Other Critters
Phillips, Henry Wallace
Humorous stories
"His mount was a big American horse, full sixteen hand high, trotting
in twenty-foot jumps. If I had anything against a person, just short
of killing, I'd tie him on the back of a horse trotting like that.
It's a great gait to sit out. Howsomever, this man didn't sit it out;
what he wanted of a saddle beyond the stirrups was a mystery, for he
never touched it. He stood up on his stirrups, bent forward like he
was going to bite the horse in the ear, soon's the strain got
unendurable.
"Well, here he come, straight for us. I'd a mind to wake the other
boys up, to let 'em see something new in the way of mishandling a
horse, but they snored so peaceful. I refrained.
"'How-de-do?' says he.
"I said I was worrying along, and sized him up, on the quiet. He was a
queer pet. Not a bad set-up man, and rather good looking in the face.
Light yellow hair, little yellow moustache, light blue eyes. And
clean! Say, I never saw anybody that looked so aggravating clean in
all my life. It seemed kind of wrong for him to be outdoors; all the
prairie and the cabin and everything looked mussed up beside him.
"As soon as he opened up, I noticed he had a little habit of speaking
in streaks, that bothered me. I missed the sense of his remarks.
"'Would you mind walking over that trail again?' I asked him. 'I do
most of my thinking at a foot-step and your ideas is over the hill and
far away before I can recognise the cut of their scalp-lock.'
"'Haw!' says he and stared at me. I was just on the point of askin'
him if red hair was a new thing to him, when all of a sudden he begun
to laugh, 'Haw-haw-haw!' says he; 'not bad at all, ye know.'
"'Of course not,' says I. 'Why should it be?'
"This got him going. I saw him figuring away to himself, and then I
had to smile so you could hear it.
"'Well,' says I, better humoured, 'tell us it again--I caught the word
sheep in the hurricane.'
"So he went over it, talking slow. I listened with one ear, for he had
a white bulldog with him; a husky, bandy-legged brute with a black eye,
and he was sniffing, dog fashion, around the door, while I blocked him
out with my legs. Doggy was in a frame of mind, puzzling out
bull-snake trail, and hawk trail, and bob-cat trail. He foresaw much
that was entertaining the other side of the door, and wanted it,
powerful.
"'Here,' says I, 'call your dog. I can't pay attention to both of you.'
"'He won't hurt anything, you know,' says the man.
"'Well, we've got a cat in there that'll hurt _him_,' I says. 'You'd
better whistle him off before old Bob wakes up and scatters him around
the front yard.'
"Gee! That man sat up straight on his horse! Cat hurt that dog?
Nonsense! Of course, he wouldn't let the dog hurt the cat, and as long
as I was afraid----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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