Red Saunders' Pets and Other Critters — John Shaqi
Red Saunders' Pets and Other CrittersPhillips, Henry Wallace
General
Red Saunders' Pets and Other Critters
Phillips, Henry Wallace
Humorous stories
"As they disappeared over the first rise I rolls me a cigarette and
lights it slowly.
"'Just by way of curiosity,' says I; 'how much will you take for your
dog?'
"'My Heavens!' says he, recovering the power of speech. 'What kind of
animal was that?'
"'Come in,' says I, 'and take a drink--you need it.'
"So we gathered up the ruins and tidied things some, while the new man
sipped his whiskey.
"'My!' says he, of a sudden. 'I must go after my poor dog.'
"I sort of warmed to him at that. 'Dog's all right,' says I. 'He'll
shake 'em loose and be home in no time. Now you tell me about them
sheep.'
"'Sheep?' says he, putting his hand to his head. 'What was it about
sheep?'
"'Hello in the house!' sings out Billy. 'The children's comin' home!'
"We tumbled out. Sure enough, the warriors was returning. First come
the Judge, tougher than rawhide, half walking and half flying, his
wings spread out, 'cree-ing' to himself about bulldogs and their ways;
next come Bobby, still sputtering and swearing, and behind ambled
Thomas at a lively wriggle, a coy, large smile upon his face.
"'Ur-r-roup! Roup!' sounds from the top of the rise. The family
halted and turned around, expectin' more pleasure, for there on the top
of the hill stood the terrible scart but still faithful bulldog calling
for his master to come away from that place quick, before he got
killed. But he had one eye open for safety, and when the family
stopped, he ducked down behind the hill surprisin'.
"'Well, I must be going,' says the visitor. 'My name's Sett--Algernon
Alfred Sett--and I shall be over next week to talk to you about those
sheep.'
"'Any time,' says I. 'We'll be here till we have to shovel snow to get
at the hay, from the look of things.'
"'Well, I'm very anxious to have a good long talk with you about
sheep,' says he. 'I've been informed that you had a long experience in
that line in--er--Nevverdah----'
"'Nevverdah?' says I. 'Oh!--Nevada. I beg your pardon--I've got in
the habit of pronouncing in that way. It wasn't Nevada, by the way--it
was Texas--but that's only a matter of a Europe or so. Yes, I met a
sheep or two in that country, I'm sorry to say.'
"'I--er--think of engaging in the business, dontcher know,' says he,
relaxing into his first method of speech; 'and should like to consult
you professionally.'
"'All right, sir!' says I. 'I'm one of the easiest men to consult west
of any place east. Can't you stay now and get the load off your mind?'
"'Well--_no_,' he says to me very confidentially. 'You see, that dog
is a great pet of my wife's, and I'm also afraid she will be a little
worried by my long absence, so----'
"'I see, sir--I see,' I answered him. 'Well, come around again and
we'll talk sheep.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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