"Yes, we were going to be married." Estevan was silent for a while;
then, "But I don't think she loved me. I think she was afraid to love
me. Afraid to love anyone. Once, it hurt me even to think like this.
Now, it is all past. I am married now, and I love my wife. Annabelle
Leigh is a part of yesterday, and yesterday is gone. I can think now of
the moments we spent together, and the moments no longer bring pain. I
can think of us working together in the vineyards, tending the vines,
and I can think of her standing in the sun at harvest time, her arms
filled with blue clusters of grapes and the sunlight spilling goldenly
down upon her. I can think of the afternoon we were rained out, and of
how we ran through the rows of vines, the rain drenching us, and of
the fire we built in the basket shed so that she could dry her hair.
I can think of her leaning over the flames, her rain-dark hair slowly
lightening to bronze, and I can think of the raindrops disappearing
one by one from her glowing face. I can think of how I seized her
suddenly in my arms and kissed her, and of how she broke wildly free
and ran out into the rain, and the rain pouring down around her as she
ran.... I did not even try to catch her, because I knew it would do no
good, and I stood there by the fire, miserable and alone, till the rain
stopped, and then went home. I thought she would be angry with me the
next day, but she was not. She acted as though the rain had never been,
as though my passion had never broken free. That night, I asked her to
marry me. I could not believe it when she said yes. No, these moments
give me no more pain, and I can recount them to you with complete calm.
Annabelle, I think, was born without passion, and hence could not
understand it in others. She tried to imitate the actions of normal
people, but there is a limit to imitation, and when she discovered this
limitation she ran away."
Drake frowned in the darkness. He thought of the tape Saint Andrew had
given him, of the picture that he carried in his left breast-pocket.
Try as he would, he could correlate neither of the two Annabelles with
the new Annabelle who had stepped upon the stage. "Tell me," he said to
Estevan, "when she ran away, did you make any attempt to follow her?"
"I did not--no; but her people did. When a woman runs away because she
is afraid of love, it is futile to run after her because when you catch
up to her she will still be running." Estevan got to his feet. "I must
be getting back--my wife will be wondering where I am. I have told you
all I know."
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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