SIMON. It's good enough for me. One can live in the country, too.
FIRST PEASANT. And Daddy Mitry here is already on the look-out for
your place; he's hankering after a life of luckshury!
SIMON. Eh, Daddy Mitry, you'd soon get sick of it. It seems easy
enough when one looks at it, but there's a lot of running about that
takes it out of one.
SERVANTS' COOK. You should see one of their balls, Daddy Mitry, then
you would be surprised!
THIRD PEASANT. Why, do they eat all the time?
SERVANTS' COOK. My eye! You should have seen what we had here awhile
ago. Theodore Ivanitch took me upstairs and I peeped in. The ladies--
awful! Dressed up! Dressed up, bless my heart, and all bare down to
here, and their arms bare.
THIRD PEASANT. Oh, Lord!
SECOND PEASANT. Faugh! How beastly!
FIRST PEASANT. I take it the climate allows of that sort of thing!
SERVANTS' COOK. Well, daddy, so I peeped in. Dear me, what it was
like! All of 'em in their natural skins! Would you believe it: old
women--our mistress, only think, she's a grandmother, and even she'd
gone and bared her shoulders.
THIRD PEASANT. Oh, Lord!
SERVANTS' COOK. And what next? The music strikes up, and each man of
'em went up to his own, catches hold of her, and off they go twirling
round and round!
SECOND PEASANT. The old women, too?
SERVANTS' COOK. Yes, the old ones, too.
SIMON. No, the old ones sit still.
SERVANTS' COOK. Get along,--I've seen it myself!
SIMON. No, they don't.
DISCHARGED COOK (in a hoarse voice, looking down from the oven).
That's the Polka-Mazurka. You fools don't understand what dancing is.
The way they dance....
SERVANTS' COOK. Shut up, you dancer! And keep quiet--there's some one
coming.
[Enter GREGORY; old COOK hides hurriedly.
GREGORY (to SERVANTS' COOK). Bring some sour cabbage.
SERVANTS' COOK. I am only just up from the cellar, and now I must go
down again! Who is it for?
GREGORY. For the young ladies. Be quick, and send it up with Simon. I
can't wait!
SERVANTS' COOK. There now, they tuck into sweetmeats till they are
full up, and then they crave for sour cabbage!
FIRST PEASANT. That's to make a clearance.
SERVANTS' COOK. Of course, and as soon as there is room inside, they
begin again!
[Takes basin, and exit.
GREGORY (at PEASANTS). Look at them, how they've established
themselves down here! Mind, if the mistress finds it out she'll give
it you hot, like she did this morning!
[Exit, laughing.
FIRST PEASANT. That's just it, she did raise a storm that time--awful!
SECOND PEASANT. That time it looked as if the master was going to step
in, but seeing that the missus was about to blow the very roof off the
house, he slams the door. Have your own way, thinks he.
THIRD PEASANT (waving his arm). It's the same everywhere. My old
woman, let's say, she kicks up such a rumpus sometimes--it's just
awful! Then I just get out of the hut. Let her go to Jericho! She'll
give you one with the poker if you don't mind. Oh, Lord!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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