Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
With Louise alone she had difficulties. The child was almost too easily
trained. Responsive, quickly fired or chilled, she was, in fact, too
delicately and completely attuned to Clare herself. Clare could be
crude: she had her gusty moods: the little æolian harp quivered to
snapping point before them. Originally this extreme sensitiveness had
fascinated Clare; she felt like a musician exploring the possibilities
of an unknown instrument; but she tired of it in time. As Louise became
saturated with the stronger personality, she had, in her passionate
desire to satisfy Clare, grown into her mere replica; reproducing her
phraseology, voicing her opinions, reflecting her moods, stifling, in
the exquisite delight of abnegation, all in her that had originally
attracted the older woman. That the effect had been, first to amuse,
then to irritate, finally to bore Clare's fickle humour, was natural
enough. Clare, had she cared, could have guided the child, despite the
great disparity of age, into a pleasant path of affection and
friendship, but that she did not choose. She was disappointed, and
showed it: and there, for her, the matter ended. That she was in any way
responsible, she would not admit.
She did not, indeed, fully realise the extent of the change in Louise
until the rehearsals began. For all her growing indifference, in spite
of the marked deterioration that automatically it had caused in the
girl's work, she had still a high and just opinion of her capabilities.
She was positive that as Prince Arthur, Louise would give a fine and
original performance, and anticipated with amused interest her initial
rendering of the character.
At the first rehearsal Louise did not disappoint her. She was neither
stiff nor self-conscious, and her acting, which proved to be entirely
instinctive, carried conviction. Though Clare worked from the head, she
could appreciate the more primitive method, but even then, the character
as portrayed by Louise amazed her. The deliberate pathos, the cloying
charm, did not seem to exist for Louise. She played as in an ecstasy of
terror. The text, Clare knew, could permit the reading, and the
conception interested her; but the temptation to criticise, alter and
improve, was natural. Here and there, as rehearsals progressed, she
pulled and patched and patted--quite genuinely in the interest of the
play as a whole. But the result was discouraging. The Louise of former
days would have defended her own version, delighting Clare with shy
impudences and flashes of insight, naïve parries and counter-attacks,
till between them they had attained notable results. But the sparkle had
been drilled out of Louise. She was humble, anxiously acquiescent,
agreeing with every alteration, accepting every suggestion, however
foreign to her own instinctive convictions, while the vividness faded
slowly from her reading, leaving it lifeless and forced.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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