Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
"Then why," he said quietly, meeting her eyes, "were you frightened at
the inquest?"
She averted her eyes.
"I wasn't--I mean--I was nervous, of course."
"You were frightened of what you might slip into saying. You told me so
ten minutes ago."
"Oh, if you're trying to trap me?" she flashed out wrathfully.
He rejoiced at the tone. It was the impetuous Alwynne of his daily
intercourse again. The mere relief of discussion was, as he had
guessed, having a tonic effect on her nerves.
He smiled at her pleasantly.
"Don't tell me anything more, if you'd rather not."
She subsided at this.
"I didn't mean to be angry," she faltered. "Only I've guarded myself so
from telling. You see, I lied at the inquest. It was perjury, I
suppose." There was a little touch of importance in her tone. "But I'll
tell you."
She hesitated, her older self once more supervening.
"Afterwards--when the doctor had come, and they took Louise away--after
that ghastly afternoon was over----" She whitened. "It was ghastly, you
know--so many people--crowding and gaping--I dream of all those crowded
faces----"
"Well?" he urged her forward.
"I went up to the room where she had changed, to see that the children
had gone----"
"She fell from that room?"
"She must have. After she had changed. She'd locked the door--to change.
I broke it open. I thought she had fainted--a baby told me something
about Louise falling--lisping so, I couldn't make out what she
meant--and I'd run up to see. It turned out afterwards that little Joan
had been in a lower room, and had seen her body as it fell past the
window."
"How beastly!" he said, with an involuntary shudder.
"And when I got the door open--an empty room. Something made me look out
of the window. She was down below--right under me--on the steps."
She was silent.
"But afterwards?" he urged her. "You went up again?"
"I had to. I was afraid already--recollecting little things. I looked
about, in case she'd left a message. And on the window-ledge--there were
great scratches. Then I knew."
She was forgetting him, staring into space, peopled as it was with her
memories.
"I don't understand," he said.
She did not answer.
"Alwynne!" he said urgently.
She looked at him absently.
"Scratches? What are you driving at?"
"Oh," she said dully, "there was a nail in her shoe. She had tried to
hammer it in at the morning school. It had made scratches all over the
rostrum. I was rather cross about it."
"But I don't see," he began, and stopped, realising suddenly her
meaning.
"You mean--she must have stood on the ledge--to make those marks?"
"Yes," said Alwynne. Then, fiercely, "Well?"
"Yes, that's conclusive," he admitted. He looked at her pityingly. "You
poor child! And you never told?"
"I got a paint-box," she said defiantly, "and painted them brown--like
the paintwork. It would have broken up Clare to know--and all the
questions and comments. What would you have done?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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