Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
Clare, who had entered in her usual noiseless fashion, stood a moment
between the combatants, watching the effect of her appearance. Her hand
shifted to Louise's bony little shoulder; through the thin blouse she
could feel the driven blood pulsing. She did not move till she felt the
child regaining comparative calm, when, giving her a gentle push towards
her place, she walked slowly to the head of the table and seated
herself. The class watched her furtively. It was quite aware that all
rules of decorum had been transgressed--that pains and penalties would
be in order with any other mistress. But with Miss Hartill there was
always glorious uncertainty--and Miss Hartill did not look annoyed.
Little gestures began to break the tension and Agatha, relieved, smiled
a shade too broadly. Instantly Clare closed with her.
She began blandly--
"Agatha, I thought you could read aloud better than that. You are not
doing your work justice. Pass me your essay."
"It's Louise's," said Agatha helplessly.
"Ah, I see. And you kindly read it to us for her? It's a pity you didn't
understand what you read--but an excuse, of course. Louise must not
expect too much."
Agatha flung up her head angrily.
"Oh, I understood it all right. I thought it was silly."
"You did? Read me your own."
"Now?"
"Certainly."
Now Clare, as she corrected and commented upon the weekly essays, did
occasionally, if the mood took her, read extracts, humorous chiefly,
therefrom; but it had never been customary for a pupil to read her own
work aloud. Agatha had the pioneer spirit--but she was no fool. She
comprehended that, with Clare inimical, she could climb no higher than
the pillory. She fell back upon the tradition of the school.
"Oh, Miss Hartill--I can't!"
"Why not?"
"No one ever does----"
Clare waited.
Agatha protested redly, her fear of ridicule outweighing her fear of
Clare.
"Miss Hartill, I simply couldn't. Before everybody--all this tosh--I
mean all this stuff I wrote. It's a written essay. I couldn't make it
sound right aloud."
Clare waited.
"It's not good enough, Miss Hartill. Honestly! And we never have. You've
never made us. I couldn't."
Clare waited.
Agatha twisted her hands uneasily. The schoolgirl shyness that is
physical misery was upon her.
"I--don't want to, Miss Hartill. I can't. It's not fair to have one's
stuff--to be laughed at--to be----" she subsided just in time.
The class sat, breathless, all eyes on Clare.
And Clare waited; waited till defiance faded to unease--unease to
helplessness, till the girl, overborne by the utter silence, gave way,
and dropping her eyes to her exercise, fluttering its pages in angry
embarrassment, finally, with a giggle of pure nervousness, embarked on
the opening sentence.
Clare cut through the clustering adjectives.
"Stand up, please."
Resistance was over. She rose sullenly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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