Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
The spring term was nearly over, holidays and a trip to Italy
deliciously near; yet Clare Hartill sat at breakfast and frowned over a
neatly-written letter.
Clare Hartill did not encourage the re-entry of old friends into her
life. She did not forget them. She would look back upon the far-off
flaming intimacy with regret, would quote its pleasures to the friend of
the hour with disconcerting enthusiasm; but she was never eager for the
reappearance of any whose ways had once diverged from her own. Pleasant
memories, if you will; but, in the flesh, old friends were tiresome.
They claimed instant intimacy; were free-tongued, fond, familiar; could
not realise that though they might choose to stand still, she, Clare,
had grown out of their knowledge, beyond their fellowship. She, indeed,
would find them terribly unaltered; older, glamourless, yet amazingly,
humiliatingly the same. She would look at them furtively as she
entertained them, and shudder at the lapse from taste that surely must
have explained her former affection. She would be gracious, kind, yet
inimitably distant, and would send them away at last, subdued, vaguely
disquieted, loyal still, yet very sure that they would never trouble her
again. Which was exactly what Clare Hartill intended. Yet she had her
fits of remorse withal, her secret bitter railing at fate and her own
nature, for that she could neither keep a friend nor live without one.
Recovering, she would be complacent at having contrived, without loss of
prestige, to rid herself of bores.
There was one fly in her ointment. Who knows not that fly, earnest and
well-intentioned, which, when it is dug out with a hairpin, cleanses
itself exhaustively and forthwith returns to the vaseline jar? Such a
fly, optimistic and persistent, was the correspondent who invariably
signed herself, "Ever, dear Clare, your affectionate little friend,
Olivia Pring. P.S. Do you remember...?" There would follow a
reminiscence, at least twenty years old, that Clare never did remember.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account