_Religio Journalistici_ OTHER BOOKS BY THE SAME AUTHOR _Fiction_ PARNASSUS ON WHEELS THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP KATHLEEN TALES FROM A ROLLTOP DESK WHERE THE BLUE BEGINS _Essays_ SHANDYGAFF MINCE PIE PIPEFULS PLUM PUDDING TRAVELS IN PHILADELPHIA THE POWDER OF SYMPATHY INWARD HO! RELIGIO JOURNALISTICI _Poetry_ SONGS FOR A LITTLE HOUSE THE ROCKING HORSE HIDE AND SEEK CHIMNEYSMOKE TRANSLATIONS FROM THE CHINESE PARSONS’ PLEASURE THE BOWLING GREEN _Religio Journalistici_ _By_ _Christopher Morley_ [Illustration] _Garden City_ _New York_ _Doubleday, Page & Company_ _1924_ COPYRIGHT, 1924, BY DOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANY ALL RIGHTS RESERVED COPYRIGHT, 1924, BY THE CENTURY CO. PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES AT THE COUNTRY LIFE PRESS, GARDEN CITY, N. Y. _First Edition_ _Religio Journalistici_ RELIGIO JOURNALISTICI It is not upon you alone the dark patches fall.... I too knitted the old knot of contrariety, Had guile, anger, lust, hot wishes I dared not speak, Was wayward, vain, greedy, shallow, sly, cowardly, malignant.... Refusals, hates, postponements, meanness, laziness, none of these wanting, Saw many I loved in the street or ferry-boat or public assembly, yet never told them a word. --Whitman’s “Crossing Brooklyn Ferry.” The secret thoughts of a man run over all things without shame or blame; which verbal discourse cannot do farther than the judgment shall approve of the time, place, and persons.--Hobbes’s “Leviathan.” I was coming home from Buffalo in a train delightfully called “The Black Diamond.” I had any number of books in my bag, but my lower instincts were uppermost: I was tired, and pined for the narcosis of newspapers. I asked the porter, also a black diamond, to see if there were any lying around. He brought me a great mass of them: Chicago papers, Buffalo papers, Wilkes-Barre papers. With great happiness I browsed among their cheerful simplicities. From Wilkes-Barre I learned that Shakespeare’s marvellous plays could never have been written by a dyspeptic. He ate carefully, sensibly, and had excellent digestion. (I had just come back from the dining car when I read that, and wondered a little sadly if I had been sensible.) From Chicago (“The World’s Greatest Newspaper”) I learned, in an article on “A Perfume to Suit Your Personality,” that The vampire had best be sparing in her use of any odour. An oriental bouquet of jasmine, tube rose, cassie, and civet would enhance the individuality of the colourful type. For a perfume combination of this sort when used correctly can create a sensation akin to ecstasy, bringing to the wearer a feeling of tremendous vitality.