Children must learn to qualify and govern temper by love in order to save it from hatred. When the irritating object is a personal one the rights, the well-being, of that one must gain some consideration. There will be but little feeling of altruism in children under thirteen; we must not expect it; but egoism is one way to an understanding of the rights, the feelings, and needs of others. The child can put himself in the other's place. He is capable of affection; he loves and is willing to sacrifice for those he loves, and when he is angry with them, or with strangers, he must be helped to think of them as persons, as those he loves or may love. He also can be aided to see the pain of hatred, the misery of the life without friends, the joy of friendships. Anger against persons is the opportunity for learning the joy of forgiveness and, if the occasion warrants, the dignity and courage of the apology. The self-control, consideration, and social adjustment involved must be learned early in life. It is part of that great lesson of the fine art of living with others. Little children must be habituated to acknowledging errors and acts of rudeness or temper with suitable forms of apology. Above all, they must, by habit, learn how great is the victory of forgiveness.[48] I. References for Study _The Problem of Temper._ Pamphlet. American Institute of Child Life, Philadelphia, Pa. E.P. St. John, _Child Nature and Child Nurture_, chap. v. Pilgrim Press, $0.50. J. Sully, _Children's Ways_, chap. x. Appleton, $1.25. II. Further Reading Patterson Du Bois, _The Culture of Justice_, chaps. i-v. Dodd, Mead & Co., $0.75. E.H. Abbott, _The Training of Parents_. Houghton Mifflin Co., $1.00. M. Wood-Allen, _Making the Best of Our Children_. 2 vols. McClurg, $1.00 each. H.Y. Campbell, _Practical Motherhood_. Longmans, $2.50. III. Topics for Discussion 1. What special opportunities are offered in the rise of moral crises? 2. Do we tend to expect too high a development of character in children? 3. How early in life do we have manifestations of a conscious will? 4. What constitutes the importance of early crises of the will? 5. What are probably the causes when children habitually defy authority? 6. Is anger always a purely mental condition? 7. What importance have the angry demonstrations of infants? 8. What is the relation of the control of temper to the rightly developed life? FOOTNOTES: [48] See Gow, _Good Morals and Gentle Manners_, chap. viii. CHAPTER XX DEALING WITH MORAL CRISES (_Continued_) § 1. QUARRELS