Religious Education in the FamilyCope, Henry Frederick
Religion
Religious Education in the Family
Cope, Henry Frederick
Families -- Religious life; Religious education
Let the cowardly teaser reap the consequences of his own act; he must
bear the burden of the critic, the expectation of perfection. Teasing
him for his own shortcomings will sometimes cure him, but usually he
loses his temper quickly. Make him feel the injustice of the teaser's
method. If he is a bully he needs bullying. If ever corporal punishment
is wise it is in such a case. He who inflicts pain simply because he can
deserves to endure pain inflicted by someone stronger. But one must be
careful not to confirm him in the coward's code. The injustice of it he
must see, see by smarting under it. If ever punishment before others is
wise it is in this case; for surely he who delights in humiliating
others must be humiliated. But though justice suggests this course,
experience shows that it does not always work; the bully only bides his
time, and, cherishing resentment, he wreaks it on the weaker ones.
The best cure for brutal teasing will take a longer time than is
involved in a thrashing. Besides, the teaser will get his thrashings
very soon from other boys. It requires time to change the habits that
make bullying possible. Try gradually helping him to see the beauty and
pleasure of helpfulness. Give him a chance to give pleasure instead of
pain. Help him to taste the joy of praise, the praise that helps more
than all teasing criticism. Help him to see that it is more truly a mark
of superiority to help, to cheer, to do good, than to oppress and tease.
Take time to habituate him in helpfulness.
In dealing with teasing in the family, two other things are worth
remembering: First, the teased must be taught the protective power of
indifference. Teasers stop as soon as their barbs fail to wound; the fun
ends there. Laugh at those who laugh at you, and they will soon cease.
Secondly, the atmosphere and habit of the family determine the course of
teasing. Where carping criticism and unkindly ridicule abound, children
cannot be blamed for like habits. Where the sense of humor lightens
tense situations, where we sacrifice the pleasure of stinging criticism
for the sake of encouraging those who most need it, children are quick
to catch those habits too. The teasing child usually comes out of a
family of similar habits. On seeing our children engaged in teasing
others, our first thought ought to be as to the extent to which we may
have been their example in this respect. Constant watchfulness on our
part against the temptations to tease will have an effect far more
potent than all attempts to talk them out of the habit; it will lead
them out.
I. References for Study
1. HONESTY
P. Du Bois, _The Culture of Justice_, chaps. iii, x. Dodd, Mead &
Co., $0.75.
E.P. St. John, _Child Nature and Child Nurture_, chap. viii.
Pilgrim Press, $0.50.
2. TEASING
W.L. Sheldon, _A Study of Habits_, chap. xvii. Welch & Co.,
Chicago, $1.25.
II. Further Reading
ON GENERAL MORAL TRAINING
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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