George's mind was always a little on the bias, and in 1810 he went crazy
for the fifth time. Always before that he had gone right ahead with his
reign, whether he was crazy or not, but with the fifth attack of insanity,
coupled with suggestion of the brain and blind staggers, it was decided to
tie him up in the barn and let someone else reign awhile. The historian
says that blindness succeeded this attack, and in 1811 the Prince of Wales
became regent.
George III died at Windsor in 1820, with the consent of a joint committee
of both houses of congress, at the age of 82 years. He made the longest
run as king, without stopping for feed or water, of any monarch in English
history. Sixty years is a long time to be a monarch and look under the bed
every night for a Nihilist loaded with a cut-glass bomb and Paris green.
Sixty years is a long while to jerk a sceptre over a nation and keep on
the right side, politically, all the time.
George was of an inventive turn of mind, and used to be monkeying with
some kind of a patent, evenings, after he had peeled his royal robes. Most
of his patents related to land, however, and some of the most successful
soil in Massachusetts was patented by George.
He was always trying some scheme to make a pile of money easy, so that he
wouldn't have to work; but he died poor and crazy at last, in England. He
was not very smart, but he attended to business all the time, and did not
get up much of a reputation as a moral leper. He said that as king of
Great Britain and general superintendent of Cork he did not aim to make
much noise, but he desired to attract universal attention by being so
moral that he would be regarded as eccentric by other crowned heads.
The Cell Nest.
To the Members of the Academy of Science, at Wrin Prairie, Wisconsin:
_Gentlemen:_--I beg leave to submit herewith my microscopic report on
the several sealed specimens of proud flesh and other mementoes taken
from the roof of Mr. Flannery's mouth. As Mr. Flannery is the mayor of
Erin Prairie, and therefore has a world-wide reputation, I deemed it
sufficiently important to the world at large, and pleasing to Mr.
Flannery's family, to publish this report in the medical journals of the
country, and have it telegraphed to the leading newspapers at their
expense. Knowing that the world at large is hungry to learn how the
laudable pus of an eminent man appears under the microscope, and what a
pleasure it must be to his family to read the description after his
death, I have just opened a new box of difficult words and herewith
transmit a report which will be an ornament not only to the scrap-book
of Mr. Flannery's immediate family after his death, but a priceless boon
to the reading public at large.
Removing the seals from the jars as soon as I had returned from the
express office, I poured off the alcohol and recklessly threw it away.
A true scientist does not care for expense.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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