Alamo (San Antonio, Tex.) -- Siege, 1836 -- Fiction; Texas -- History -- Revolution, 1835-1836 -- Fiction; War stories; Western stories
He went, however, without further parley, stopping only to warn the
Senora against the sin “of standing with the enemies of God and the
Holy Church,” and to order Isabel to recite for her mother’s pardon and
comfort a certain number of aves and paternosters. Antonia went with
him to the door, and ere he left he blessed her, and said: “The Senorita
will examine her soul and see her sin. Then the ever merciful Church
will hear her confession, and give her the satisfying penance.”
Antonia bowed in response. When people are in great domestic sorrow,
self-examination is a superfluous advice. She listened a moment to
his departing footsteps, shivering as she stood in the darkness, for a
norther had sprung up, and the cold was severe. She only glanced into
the pleasant parlor where the table was laid for dinner, and a great
fire of cedar logs was throwing red, dancing lights over the white linen
and the shining silver and glass. The chairs were placed around
the table; her father’s at the head. It had a forsaken air that was
unendurable.
The dinner hour was now long past. It would be folly to attempt the
meal. How could she and Isabel sit down alone and eat, and her father in
prison, and her mother frantic with a loss which she was warned it was
sinful to mourn over. Antonia had a soul made for extremities and not
afraid to face them, but invisible hands controlled her. What could
a woman do, whom society had forbidden to do anything, but endure the
pangs of patience?
The Senora could offer no suggestions. She was not indeed in a mood to
think of her resources. A spiritual dread was upon her. And with this
mingled an intense sense of personal wrong from her husband. “Had she
not begged him to be passive? And he had put an old rifle before her
and her daughters! It was all that Senor Houston’s doing. She had an
assurance of that.” She invoked a thousand maledictions on him. She
recalled, with passionate reproaches, Jack’s infidelity to her and
his God and his country. Her anger passed from one subject to another
constantly, finding in all, even in the lukewarmness of Antonia and
Isabel, and in their affection for lovers, who were also rebels, an
accumulating reason for a stupendous reproach against herself, her
husband, her children, and her unhappy fate. Her whole nature was in
revolt--in that complete mental and moral anarchy from which springs
tragedy and murder.
Isabel wept so violently that she angered still further the tearless
suffering of her mother. “God and the saints!” she cried. “What are you
weeping for? Will tears do any good? Do I weep? God has forbidden me
to weep for the wicked. Yet how I suffer! Mary, mother of sorrows, pity
me!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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