When we boys began to get big, we had at first a German tutor for two or
three years, Fyodor Fyodorovitch Kaufmann.
I cannot say that we were particularly fond of him. He was rather rough,
and even we children were struck by his German stupidity. His redeeming
feature was that he was a devoted sportsman. Every morning he used to
jerk the blankets off us and shout, "Auf, Kinder! auf!" and during the
daytime plagued us with German calligraphy.
OUTDOOR SPORTS
THE chief passion of my childhood was riding. I well remember the time
when my father used to put me in the saddle in front of him and we
would ride out to bathe in the Voronka. I have several interesting
recollections connected with these rides.
One day as we were going to bathe, papa turned round and said to me:
"Do you know, Ilyusha, I am very pleased with myself to-day. I have been
bothered with her for three whole days, and could not manage to make
her go into the house; try as I would, it was impossible. It never would
come right. But to-day I remembered that there is a mirror in every
hall, and that every lady wears a bonnet.
"As soon as I remembered that, she went where I wanted her to, and did
everything she had to. You would think a bonnet is a small affair, but
everything depended on that bonnet."
As I recall this conversation, I feel sure that my father was talking
about that scene in "Anna Karenina" where ANNA went to see her son.
Although in the final form of the novel nothing is said in this scene
either about a bonnet or a mirror,--nothing is mentioned but a thick
black veil,--still, I imagine that in its original form, when he was
working on the passage, my father may have brought Anna up to the
mirror, and made her straighten her bonnet or take it off.
I can remember the interest with which he told me this, and it now
seems strange that he should have talked about such subtle artistic
experiences to a boy of seven who was hardly capable of understanding
him at the time. However, that was often the case with him.
I once heard from him a very interesting description of what a writer
needs for his work:
"You cannot imagine how important one's mood is," he said. "Sometimes
you get up in the morning, fresh and vigorous, with your head clear, and
you begin to write. Everything is sensible and consistent. You read it
over next day, and have to throw the whole thing away, because, good
as it is, it misses the main thing. There is no imagination in it,
no subtlety, none of the necessary something, none of that only just
without which all your cleverness is worth nothing. Another day you
get up after a bad night, with your nerves all on edge, and you think,
'To-day I shall write well, at any rate.' And as a matter of fact, what
you write is beautiful, picturesque, with any amount of imagination. You
look it through again; it is no good, because it is written stupidly.
There is plenty of color, but not enough intelligence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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