Representative Plays by American Dramatists: 1856-1911: In MizzouraThomas, Augustus
General
Representative Plays by American Dramatists: 1856-1911: In Mizzoura
Thomas, Augustus
American drama
MRS. VERNON. [_Looking into shop_.] Now I say they's lots of folks of
education what ain't got as much sense as that dog.
TRAVERS _comes down._
KATE. Let us go walking. I can't breathe in here.
TRAVERS. With pleasure.
MRS. VERNON. Where you goin', Kate?
KATE. Only outside the door--[_At door_.] to the corner.
MRS. VERNON. [_Doubtingly_.] Well--[_Going centre. Exeunt_, TRAVERS
_and_ KATE--_positively._] Well, I don't care who hears me--[_Looks
cautiously out_.] I don't like his looks.
_Enter_ JOE.
JOE. Ma!
MRS. VERNON. What?
JOE. Ain't you got some soup-meat or sompthin' you kin spare that
little ki-yoodle?
MRS. VERNON. Well, if his leg's broke, he better not have no meat or
stuff that'd feed a fever. If yew kin drink your second cup in the
mornin' without milk, I kin spare him some o' that.
JOE. All right.
MRS. VERNON. [_Scolding_.] An' the milk's hangin' in the cistern.
[_Takes cup from back wall_.] Plague take it! Woman's work's never
done. [_Exit_.
JOE. [_After a moment_.] I s'pose I could a got it. [_Calls_.]
Lizbeth!
LIZBETH. [_Off_.] Yes. [_Enters_.
JOE. [_Scolding_.] Why don't you help your poor ma? She's had to go
after the milk.
LIZBETH. [_Angrily meeting_ JOE'S _tone_.] Well, I didn't know it.
[_Exit after_ MRS. VERNON.
JOE. [_Getting alarm-clock. Calls into shop_.] Dave!
DAVE. [_Off_.] Yes.
JOE. [_At door_.] You don't need him, Jim?
JIM. [_Off_.] No.
JOE. [_Leaving door_.] See here--[_Enter_ DAVE.] Kin you run one o'
these machines?
DAVE. I allow I kin.
JOE. [_Hands clock to_ DAVE.] Then set her an hour earlier, and have
things fired up in the mornin'. We've got to weld that Louisiana tire,
I reckon, afore breakfast.
DAVE. All right.
_Enter_ MRS. VERNON _and_ LIZBETH.
MRS. VERNON. Here, Joe--[_Hands cup_.] Git to feedin' it. I'll git
attached to it, an' we've got too many dogs now.
JOE. [_Caressing her with rough push on the face_.] I know you,
ma--you're the motherin'est old hen in Pike--[_Going_.] If he don't
drink this I'll drowned him.
MRS. VERNON. [_To street door_.] Now, Lizbeth, I don't see nothin' of
Kate. She's out there with Travers--you an' Dave kind o' hang round
like you was with 'em.
LIZBETH. Come, Dave. [_To_ MRS. VERNON.] Jes' not let on?
MRS. VERNON. Yes--purtendin'.
_Exit_ LIZBETH.
DAVE. All right. [_Exit after_ LIZBETH.
JOE. [_Entering door_.] Jes' look at him, ma--he's got his eyebrows in
it.
MRS. VERNON. [_At door; leans on_ JOE'S _shoulder_.] The darlin'--jes'
to think, Joe, if one of our children was sufferin'--
JOE. [_With unction_.] You bet.
MRS. VERNON. [_Earnestly calls_.] Don't let him splash it on you,
Jim--'t'll spot your clothes.
JOE. [_Pauses admiringly_.] Jim don't care a durn.
MRS. VERNON. There, I'll fix his bed. [_Getting coats from peg, back
wall_.] What's a man know, anyhow? [_Exit to shop_.
JOE. [_Gets tobacco from shelf_.] She'll fix him all right--ha, ha!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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