Representative Plays by American Dramatists: 1856-1911: Rip van: WinkleBurke, Charles
General
Representative Plays by American Dramatists: 1856-1911: Rip van: Winkle
Burke, Charles
American drama
He [is now stationed in New York, studying the law, and](77) has become
a staid, sober, prudent youth; and [now](78), ’tis my wish that he
should settle in this, his native place, and [that he](79) marry some
honest girl, who is altogether unacquainted with the frivolities of
cities; and I have been thinking that in a few years your daughter will
be grown up, and would make a suitable match for him. True, there will
be some disparity in their ages, but as the years are on the side of the
husband, so ’twill be all the better for the wife, in having a matured
preceptor.
RIP.
Beg [pardon],(80) sir; but it strikes me you are only carrying on your
rigs mit me.
DERRIC.
No, on my honour; and, to convince you that I’m in earnest, I have
brought with me a contract, by which our offspring, when of age, are
bound to intermarry, or forfeit their several fortunes. I shall settle
all mine on Herman, and I shall expect you to do the same for your
daughter.
RIP.
Yah! yah! [ech woll](81); I’ll give her all [I got](82); all my money;
but she must be [d——d](83) smart if she can find [’em.](84) Take a
drink, [Mr.](85) Burgomaster. [_Drinks._
DERRIC.
Well, here are the two contracts, both binding and legally drawn.
RIP.
Yah! yah! [_Drinks._—DERRIC _gives him the pen._] What you want me to do
mit dis?
DERRIC.
Merely sign your name.
RIP.
Me, [put](86) my name to dat [paper], mitout my old woman knowing?—mine
goot [friend],(87) she would skin me. [_Noise in closet._] [Schat! you
witch!](88)
DERRIC.
But I was about to propose, on condition of your signing the contract,
to let you live rent free, in future.
RIP.
Rent free! I’ll sign! but [stop]!(89) my old woman [must] play [old
hob](90) mit me—so put down dat I can break dat contract, if I choose,
in twenty years and a day.—[_Noise._]—[Schat! you witch!](91)
DERRIC.
[_Writing._] As you please.(92) [_Noise._
RIP.
Schat! you witch!(93) [_Drinks._
DERRIC.
Is that a cat, friend Rip? [_Writing._
RIP.
I don’t know if it is a cat—but, if it is my dog [Snider],(94) I
wouldn’t be in his skin when de old woman comes back.
DERRIC.
There, friend Rip, I have inserted, at your request, this codicil:
“Should the said Rip Van Winkle think fit to annul this contract, within
twenty years and a day, he shall be at full liberty to do so.”
RIP.
Yah, yah! [dos] is recht—dat is goot. Now [Mr.](95) Burgomaster, what
you want me to do?
DERRIC.
Sign it!
RIP.
Wass?
DERRIC.
Sign!
RIP.
Give me de [paper](96).—[_Takes it._]—How my head turns
round.—[_Reading._]—“Should the said Rip Van Winkle”—yah, yah! dat is
me.—"Rip Van Winkle—twenty years and a day."—Oh, dat is all
recht.—[_Writing._]—R-i-p V-a-n—[_Noise._]—Schat! you witch!
W-i-n-k-l-e—now, dere he is.
DERRIC.
And there is the counterpart. [_Gives it._
RIP.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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