WHITE. Mr. De Windsor, allow me to remark, that an innocent man's character is not to be impugned without sufficient ground. Come here, Pawkins. (_whispers to him, "Brazen it out"_) Pawkins, a malignant slanderer says you are fishy, but you ain't, are you? PAWKINS. (L.) Not as I am aware on. DE W. Then, most respectable Mr. Pawkins, what were you doing in a certain cupboard at three o'clock in the morning? WHITE. Ha! the case is desperate, and a desperate effort must be made. _AGATHA and several GUESTS enter from L. C., and form an AUDIENCE, R._ Listen, all parties present. DE W. (R. C.) Well, talk away, and make the best of it. WHITE. Look at the face of this worthy man. Pawkins, get into the dock! (_places him on chair, L., and turns another chair round to lean on, &c._) Examine every lineament. PAWKINS. (_on chair, L._) Come, come, you do make one look such a fool! WHITE. (L. C.) Believe me, this excellent man is one of those rare natures that are seldom to be found. Ask the independent electors of Marylebone, whom they would place in the van. PAWKINS. I've been in the wan! WHITE. Whom they would place in the van as the staunchest champion of their interests. They will answer Pawkins! Ask the poor----(_takes tongs from his own pocket_) PAWKINS. Them's my tongs! WHITE. (_throws them on table_) Ask the poor--the suffering poor--whom they regard as their kindest benefactor. They will answer--Pawkins. (_aside to him_) Cry! PAWKINS. I can't! I say, ain't you pitching it raither too strong! WHITE. They say we were found in a cupboard at three o'clock in the morning. Well, we admit the trivial fact, we were in the cupboard. PAWKINS. No, no, no! WHITE. Though we have every high virtue, we are still but human; we have hearts not altogether unsusceptible to female beauty. (_FERGUSON comes forward, R., in great agitation_) Do you now persist in asking why we were in the cupboard? Well, then, we were there for the sake of one of the fair sex. FERGUS. But, sir, there is a husband---- PAWKINS. Now he's done it! WHITE. A husband! Do you call that a husband? As Mr. Justice Blesswell remarked in the great divorce case of Martyr _v._ Bangwife--such a wretch is not worthy the name of a husband. A man who indulges in large potations--comes home at little hours--and is limited in his notions of crinoline! (_bangs chair during speech, then turns it and sits_) PAWKINS. He'll smash that ere chair! FERGUS. But, sir, I'm the husband---- WHITE. (_rises and goes to PAWKINS_) That's awkward! PAWKINS. Yes; it is awkward! WHITE. But we won't flinch! Mr. De Windsor, I must say your society is not the most select. (_pulls chair from under PAWKINS_) FERGUS. (_crossing to L., and collaring PAWKINS_) And now, you villain--you destwoyer of my domestic peace--what have you to say for yourself?