DE W. Bless me! (_aside_) I'm sure Whitewash talked about small children. _WHITEWASH runs in C. from L._ WHITE. Mr. De Windsor, sir--(_aside_) Egad! the rascal's in full confab. Sir----(_pushes himself between PAWKINS and DE WINDSOR, C._) PAWKINS. (R.) Why, I'm blest if here ain't my professional gen'leman! DE W. (L.) Ah, sir, Mr. Whitewash is your true friend. PAWKINS. No mistake about that! No, Mr. Whitewash, I'm a poor man, but if there's any way of shewing my gratitude---- WHITE. (_whispers_) There's an exceedingly cheap way. Make some excuse and take yourself off as fast as your legs can carry you. PAWKINS. Ah, he is indeed a friend! (_crosses to C._) Look here, Mr. De----what's your name? There I stud reading the bill of the Royal Victoria Theatre--something about Will Watch, the Bold Smuggler, when, as if it was done o' purpose, some one smuggles a watch into my umbrella! WHITE. Yes, yes, we know all about that, the story is exceedingly plausible, and I have told it already, much better than you can, in the presence of this gentleman. PAWKINS. They lugs me about--they takes me off against my will. WHITE. Well, then, now indulge in the free exercise of your will, by taking yourself off. (_some of the COMPANY pass across at back of C. doors, from L. to R._) PAWKINS. Stop a bit! though I mostly sticks to the easy shaving line, I've a mind as can soar to the higher branches. That 'ere head of hair is uncommon well got up, the one with the pearls, I mean. Just allow me to have a look, gov'ner, I'll be back in a twinkling. _Exit, C., and off, R._ DE W. (L.) Exuberant--unsophisticated creature! WHITE. Oh, perfectly unsophisticated! I only wish he had not fixed on the only head dress in the room that gives a notion of positive value? No, no, I must not hesitate any longer. Look here, my dear, sir, you are a man of heart--I may say, a noble creature--and it's one of the specific weaknesses of noble creatures, to fancy everybody else as noble as themselves. Now, suppose this favourite of yours, this Pawkins, were really a little light fingered; suppose the dazzling brilliancy of one of your table spoons caused him to forget the distinction between _meum_ and _tuum_. Under these painful circumstances, what would you say? DE W. I should say that you were the most lying humbug I ever clapped eyes on. WHITE. Heyday! Why? DE W. Why, didn't you stand up before the judge and jury, and bellow out your belief in that man's immaculate virtue. Did you not clap your hand on your heart, and declare that our country might be proud of such a citizen; and St. Giles's in the Fields proud of such a parishioner? Did not you cause me to blubber aloud, till I was turned ignominiously out of court, as a charity boy is kicked out by a beadle? And am I to understand that all that rhodomontade, followed by that expulsion, was for the sake of a pickpocket? Abominable! Disgusting!