Reveries of a Bachelor; or, A Book of the HeartMitchell, Donald Grant
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Reveries of a Bachelor; or, A Book of the Heart
Mitchell, Donald Grant
American essays -- 19th century
Alone, with your dog living on bones, and you on hope—kindling each
morning, dying slowly each night—this could be borne. Philosophy would
bring home its stores to the lone man. Money is not in his hand, but
knowledge is in his brain! and from that brain he draws out faster, as
he draws slower from his pocket. He remembers; and on remembrance he can
live for days and weeks. The garret, if a garret covers him, is rich in
fancies. The rain, if it pelts, pelts only him used to rain-peltings.
And his dog crouches not in dread, but in companionship. His crust he
divides with him, and laughs. He crowns himself with glorious memories
of Cervantes, though he begs; if he nights it under the stars, he dreams
heaven-sent dreams of the prisoned and homeless Galileo.
He hums old sonnets, and snatches of poor Jonson’s plays. He chants
Dryden’s odes, and dwells on Otway’s rhyme. He reasons with Bolingbroke
or Diogenes as the humor takes him, and laughs at the world, for the
world, thank Heaven, has left him alone!
Keep your money, old misers, and your palaces, old princes—the world is
mine!
I care not, fortune, what you me deny.
You cannot rob me of free nature’s grace,
You cannot shut the windows of the sky;
You cannot bar my constant feet to trace
The woods and lawns, by living streams, at eve,
Let health, my nerves and finer fibers brace,
And I, their toys, to the great children, leave.
Of fancy, reason, virtue, nought can we bereave!
But—if not alone?
If _she_ is clinging to you for support, for consolation, for home, for
life—she, reared in luxury, perhaps, is faint for bread?
Then the iron enters the soul; then the nights darken under any
skylight. Then the days grow long, even in the solstice of winter.
She may not complain; what then?
Will your heart grow strong, if the strength of her love can dam up the
fountains of tears, and the tied tongue not tell of bereavement? Will it
solace you to find her parting the poor treasure of food you have stolen
for her, with begging, foodless children?
But this ill, strong hands and Heaven’s help will put down. Wealth
again; flowers again; patrimonial acres again; brightness again. But
your little Bessie, your favorite child, is pining.
Would to God! you say in agony, that wealth could bring fullness again
into that blanched cheek, or round those little thin lips once more; but
it can not. Thinner and thinner they grow; plaintive and more plaintive
her sweet voice.
“Dear Bessie”—and your tones tremble; you feel that she is on the edge
of the grave? Can you pluck her back? Can endearments stay her? Business
is heavy, away from the loved child; home, you go, to fondle while yet
time is left—but _this_ time you are too late. She is gone. She can not
hear you; she can not thank you for the violets you put within her stiff
white hand.
And then—the grassy mound—the cold shadow of head-stone!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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