Reveries of a Bachelor; or, A Book of the HeartMitchell, Donald Grant
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Reveries of a Bachelor; or, A Book of the Heart
Mitchell, Donald Grant
American essays -- 19th century
I have seen before now a creeping vine try to grow up against a marble
wall; it shoots out its tendrils in all directions, seeking for some
crevice by which to fasten and to climb—looking now above and now
below—twining upon itself—reaching farther up, but, after all, finding
no good foothold, and falling away as if in despair. But nature is not
unkind; twining things were made to twine. The longing tendrils take new
strength in the sunshine, and in the showers, and shoot out toward some
hospitable trunk. They fasten easily to the kindly roughness of the
bark, and stretch up, dragging after them the vine, which, by and by,
from the topmost bough, will nod its blossoms over at the marble wall,
that refused it succor, as if it said—stand there in your pride, cold,
white wall! we, the tree and I, are kindred, it the helper, and I the
helped! and bound fast together, we riot in the sunshine and in
gladness.
The thought of this image made me search for a new coal that should have
some brightness in it. There may be a white ash over it indeed; as you
will find tender feelings covered with the mask of courtesy, or with the
veil of fear; but with a breath it all flies off, and exposes the heat
and the glow that you are seeking.
At the first touch the delicate edges of the cigar crimple, a thin line
of smoke rises—doubtfully for a while, and with a coy delay; but after a
hearty respiration or two it grows strong, and my cigar is fairly
lighted.
That first taste of the new smoke, and of the fragrant leaf is very
grateful; it has a bloom about it that you wish might last. It is like
your first love—fresh, genial and rapturous. Like that, it fills up all
the craving of your soul; and the light, blue wreaths of smoke, like the
roseate clouds that hang around the morning of your heart-life, cut you
off from the chill atmosphere of mere worldly companionship, and make a
gorgeous firmament for your fancy to riot in.
I do not speak now of those later and manlier passions, into which
judgment must be thrusting its cold tones, and when all the sweet tumult
of your heart has mellowed into the sober ripeness of affection. But I
mean that boyish burning, which belongs to every poor mortal’s lifetime,
and which bewilders him with the thought that he has reached the highest
point of human joy before he has tasted any of that bitterness from
which alone our highest human joys have sprung. I mean the time when you
cut initials with your jack-knife on the smooth bark of beech trees; and
went moping under the long shadows at sunset; and thought Louise the
prettiest name in the wide world; and picked flowers to leave at her
door; and stole out at night to watch the light in her window; and read
such novels as those about Helen Mar, or Charlotte, to give some
adequate expression to your agonized feelings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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