California -- History -- Fiction; Rezanov, Nikolai Petrovich, 1764-1807 -- Fiction
If he had not been beyond humor, he would have smiled at the idea that
in the face of all eternity it mattered what nation on one little
planet eventually possessed a fragment called California. To him that
fair land was empty and purposeless save for one figure, and even of
her he thought with the terrible calm of dissolution. During these
last months of illness and isolation he had been less lonely than at
any time of his life save during those few weeks in California, for he
had lived with her incessantly in spirit; and in that subtle
imaginative communion had pressed close to a profound and complex soul,
revealed before only in flashes to a vision astray in the confusion of
the senses. He had felt that her response to his passion was far more
vital and enduring than dwelt in the capacity of most women; he had
appreciated her gifts of mind, her piquant variousness that scotched
monotony, the admirable characteristics that would give a man repose
and content in his leisure, and subtly advance his career. But in
those long reveries, at the head of his forlorn caravan or in the
desolate months of convalescence, he had arrived at an absolute
understanding of what she herself had divined while half comprehending.
Theirs was one of the few immortal loves that reveal the rarely sounded
deeps of the soul while in its frail tenement on earth; and he harbored
not a doubt that their love was stronger than mortality and that their
ultimate union was decreed. Meanwhile, she would suffer, no one but he
could dream how completely, but her strong soul would conquer, and she
would live the life she had visioned in moments of despair; not of
cloistered selfishness, but of incomparable usefulness to her little
world; and far happier, in her eternal youthfulness of heart, in that
divine life of the imagination where he must always be with her as she
had known him briefly at his best, than in the blunt commonplaceness of
daily existence, the routine and disillusionment of the world.
Perhaps--who knew?--he had, after all, given her the best that man can
offer to a woman of exalted nature; instead of taking again with his
left hand what his right had bestowed; completed the great gift of life
with the priceless beacon of death.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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