One day I asked him if he had any plans for his new-born son. "My first
ambition," he said, "is to assure him a modest income, which will
render him independent, that he may be sheltered from the miserable
annoyances from which I have so cruelly suffered. Then I should wish
him to know something of surgery, enough to render aid to a wounded
person in emergencies, to prepare a first dressing. I have so often
been troubled by my own inability that I wish to spare him this
pain. Beyond this I shall leave him entirely free." Madame Wagner
told me that the composition of the Mastersingers had been suspended
during long months on account of a sick dog, wandering and abandoned,
which Wagner, then at Zurich, had picked up and endeavored to cure.
The dog had bitten his right hand badly, and the wound became so
painful as to prevent him from writing. It is impossible to dictate
music, and he was thus reduced to inaction, which put his patience
to a hard test; but the dog was none the less cared for. There are,
however, violence and roughness in Richard Wagner's character which
must be recognized, and which are frequently the cause of his being
misjudged, but only by those who regard merely the exterior. Nervous
and impassionable to excess, the emotions which he experiences are
always carried to an extreme. With him slight pain is almost despair,
the smallest irritation has the appearance of madness. This wonderful
organization of such exquisite sensibility has terrible vibrations,
and his resistance of them is wonderful. A day of anxiety ages him
ten years, but, happiness once reinstated, the day following finds
him younger than ever. He gives himself to others with extraordinary
prodigality. Always sincere, his whole heart is in everything he does;
but of an extremely variable temper, his opinions and ideas, fixed
the first moment, are by no means irrevocable. No one recognizes an
error more quickly than he does, but he must have passed his first
enthusiasm. By his frankness and vehemence he often wounds his best
friends unintentionally; always excessive he goes farther than he
intends, and does not recognize the grief he causes. Many, wounded in
their self-love, bear in silence the injury which aggravates them, and
thus they lose a precious friendship; whereas, if they had cried out
that they were hurt, they would have found the master filled with such
sincere regrets that he would have made an effusive effort to console
them, and their love for him would only have increased.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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