Latter Day Saint women -- Fiction; Polygamy -- Fiction; Utah -- Fiction; Western stories; Women ranchers -- Fiction
“God knows you’re right!... Poor Bern, how long he’s gone! In my
trouble I’ve been forgetting him. But, Lassiter, I’ve little fear for
him. I’ve heard my riders say he’s as keen as a wolf.... As to your
reading my thoughts—well, your suggestion makes an actual thought of
what was only one of my dreams. I believe I dreamed of flying from this
wild borderland, Lassiter. I’ve strange dreams. I’m not always
practical and thinking of my many duties, as you said once. For
instance—if I dared—if I dared I’d ask you to saddle the blacks and
ride away with me—and hide me.”
“Jane!”
The rider’s sunburnt face turned white. A few times Jane had seen
Lassiter’s cool calm broken—when he had met little Fay, when he had
learned how and why he had come to love both child and mistress, when
he had stood beside Milly Erne’s grave. But one and all they could not
be considered in the light of his present agitation. Not only did
Lassiter turn white—not only did he grow tense, not only did he lose
his coolness, but also he suddenly, violently, hungrily took her into
his arms and crushed her to his breast.
“Lassiter!” cried Jane, trembling. It was an action for which she took
sole blame. Instantly, as if dazed, weakened, he released her. “Forgive
me!” went on Jane. “I’m always forgetting your—your feelings. I thought
of you as my faithful friend. I’m always making you out more than
human... only, let me say—I meant that—about riding away. I’m wretched,
sick of this—this—Oh, something bitter and black grows on my heart!”
“Jane, the hell—of it,” he replied, with deep intake of breath, “is you
_can’t_ ride away. Mebbe realizin’ it accounts for my grabbin’ you—that
way, as much as the crazy boy’s rapture your words gave me. I don’t
understand myself.... But the hell of this game is—you _can’t_ ride
away.”
“Lassiter!... What on earth do you mean? I’m an absolutely free woman.”
“You ain’t absolutely anythin’ of the kind.... I reckon I’ve got to
tell you!”
“Tell me all. It’s uncertainty that makes me a coward. It’s faith and
hope—blind love, if you will, that makes me miserable. Every day I
awake believing—still believing. The day grows, and with it doubts,
fears, and that black bat hate that bites hotter and hotter into my
heart. Then comes night—I pray—I pray for all, and for myself—I
sleep—and I awake free once more, trustful, faithful, to believe—to
hope! Then, O my God! I grow and live a thousand years till night
again!... But if you want to see me a woman, tell me why I can’t ride
away—tell me what more I’m to lose—tell me the worst.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account