OUR HIRED GIRL Our hired girl, she's 'Lizabuth Ann; An' she can cook best things to eat! She ist puts dough in our pie-pan, An' pours in somepin' 'at's good and sweet, An' nen she salts it all on top With cinnamon; an' nen she'll stop An' stoop an' slide it, ist as slow, In th' old cook-stove, so's 'twon't slop An' git all spilled; nen bakes it, so It's custard pie, first thing you know! An' nen she'll say: "Clear out o' my way! They's time fer work, an' time fer play!-- Take yer dough, an' run, Child; run! Er I cain't git no cookin' done!" When our hired girl 'tends like she's mad, An' says folks got to walk the chalk When _she's_ around, er wisht they had, I play out on our porch an' talk To th' Raggedy Man 'at mows our lawn; An' he says "_Whew!"_ an' nen leans on His old crook-scythe, and blinks his eyes An' sniffs all around an' says,--"I swawn! Ef my old nose don't tell me lies, It 'pears like I smell custard-pies!" An' nen _he'll_ say,-- "'Clear out' o' my way! They's time fer work an' time fer play! Take yer dough, an' run, Child; run! Er _she_ cain't git no cookin' done!'" [Illustration: Wuz parchin' corn fer the raggedy man] Wunst our hired girl, one time when she Got the supper, an' we all et, An' it was night, an' Ma an' me An' Pa went wher' the "Social" met,-- An' nen when we come home, an' see A light in the kitchen-door, an' we Heerd a maccordeum, Pa says "Lan'-- O'Gracious! who can _her_ beau be?" An' I marched in, an' 'Lizabuth Ann Wuz parchin' corn fer the Raggedy Man! _Better_ say "Clear out o' the way! They's time fer work, an' time fer play! Take the hint, an' run, Child; run! Er we cain't git no _courtin_' done!'" THE BOYS' CANDIDATE [Illustration: The Boys' Candidate] Las' time 'at Uncle Sidney come, He bringed a watermelon home-- An' half the boys in town, Come taggin' after him.--An' he Says, when we et it,--_"Gracious me! 'S the boy-house fell down?"_ THE PET COON [Illustration: The Pet Coon--Title] Noey Bixler ketched him, and fetched him in to me When he's ist a little teenty-weenty baby-coon 'Bout as big as little pups, an' tied him to a tree; An' Pa gived Noey fifty cents, when he come home at noon. Nen he buyed a chain fer him, an' little collar, too, An' sawed a hole in a' old tub an' turnt it upside-down; An' little feller'd stay in there and won't come out fer you-- 'Tendin' like he's kindo' skeered o' boys 'at lives in town. _Now_ he aint afeard a bit! he's ist so fat an' tame, We on'y chain him up at night, to save the little chicks. Holler "Greedy! Greedy!" to him, an' he knows his name, An' here he'll come a-waddle-un, up fer any tricks! He'll climb up my leg, he will, an' waller in my lap, An' poke his little black paws 'way in my pockets where They's beechnuts, er chinkypins, er any little scrap Of anything, 'at's good to eat--an' _he_ don't care!