Mrs. Thornburgh stood transfixed, something of her fresh pink colour
slowly deserting her face as she realised the enormity of the
catastrophe. And was it possible that there was the faintest twinkle of
grim satisfaction on the face of that elderly minx, Sarah?
Mrs. Thornburgh, however, did not stay to explore the recesses of
Sarah's mind, but ran with little pattering, undignified steps across
the front garden and down the steps to where Mr. Backhouse the carrier
stood, bracing himself for self-defence.
'Ya may weel fret, mum,' said Mr. Backhouse, interrupting the flood of
her reproaches, with the comparative _sang-froid_ of one who knew that,
after all, he was the only carrier on the road, and that the vicarage
was five miles from the necessaries of life; 'it's a bad job, and I's
not goin' to say it isn't. But ya jest look 'ere, mum, what's a man to
du wi' a daft thingamy like _that_, as caan't teak a plain order, and
spiles a poor man's business as caan't help hissel'?'
And Mr. Backhouse pointed with withering scorn to a small, shrunken old
man, who sat dangling his legs on the shaft of the cart, and whose
countenance wore a singular expression of mingled meekness and
composure, as his partner flourished an indignant finger towards him.
'Jim,' cried Mrs. Thornburgh reproachfully, 'I did think you would have
taken more pains about my order!'
'Yis, mum,' said the old man placidly, 'ya might 'a' thowt it. I's reet
sorry, bit ya caan't help these things _sum_times--an' it's naw gud, a
hollerin' ower 'em like a mad bull. Aa tuke yur bit paper to Randall's
and aa laft it wi' 'em to mek up, an' than, aa, weel, aa went to a
frind, an' ee _may_ hev giv' me a glass of yale, aa doon't say ee
_dud_--but ee may, I ween't sweer. Hawsomiver, aa niver thowt naw mair
aboot it, nor mair did John, so _ee_ needn't taak--till we wur jest two
mile from 'ere. An' ee's a gon' on sence! My! an' a larroping the poor
beeast like onything!'
Mrs. Thornburgh stood aghast at the calmness of this audacious recital.
As for John, he looked on surveying his brother's philosophical
demeanour at first with speechless wrath, and then with an inscrutable
mixture of expressions, in which, however, any one accustomed to his
weather-beaten countenance would have probably read a hidden admiration.
'Weel, aa niver!' he exclaimed, when Jim's explanatory remarks had come
to an end, swinging himself up on to his seat and gathering up the
reins. 'Yur a boald 'un to tell the missus theer to hur feeace as how ya
wur 'tossicatit whan yur owt ta been duing yur larful business. Aa've
doon wi' yer. Aa aims to please ma coostomers, an' aa caan't abide sek
wark. Yur like an oald kneyfe, I can mak' nowt o' ya', nowder back nor
edge.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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