“MY DEAR M——: I suppose you do not know of my arrival from Sicily, or I should have heard from you. I must be very brief in my detail of the events which have proved so fatal to me, and which followed our departure from that country. A most dreadful and perilous passage occasioning me many frights, I was, on our entrance into the Channel, prematurely delivered of a boy, without any assistance save that of one of the soldiers’ wives, the only woman on board except myself. The storm being so high that no boat could stand out at sea, I was in imminent danger till twelve next day, when at the risk of his life a physician came on board from one of the other ships, and relieved me. The storm continued, and I got a brain fever, which, however, passed off. To be short: on landing at Portsmouth, the precious creature for whom I had suffered so much God took to Himself. The inexpressible anguish I felt at this event, preying on me, has occasioned the decay of my health. For the last month the contest between life and death has seemed doubtful; but this day, having called in a very clever man here, he seems not to think me in danger. My disorder is a total derangement of the nervous system, and its most dreadful effects I find in the attack on my mind and spirits. I suffer misery you cannot conceive. I am often seized with icy perspirations, trembling, and that indescribable horror which you must know, if you have ever had the fever. Write instantly to me. Alas, I want everything to soothe my mind. O my friend! would to Heaven you were with me: nothing so much as the presence of a dear female friend would tend to my recovery. But in England you know how I am situated: not one I know intimately. To make up for this, my beloved husband is everything to me. His conduct, throughout all my troubles, surpasses all praise. Write to me, dear M——, and tell me how to bear all these things. I have, truly speaking, cast all my care on the Lord; but ah, how our weak natures fail; every day, every hour, I may say. On board the ship, when all seemed adverse to hope, it is strange how an overstrained trust in certain words of our Saviour gave me such perfect faith in His help, that although my baby was visibly pining away, I never doubted his life for a moment. ‘He who gathers the lambs in His arms,’ I thought, would look down on mine, if I had faith in Him. This has often troubled me since——”