Nor did the piano absorb all his faculties. Every divine influence tends
to the rounded perfection of the whole. His love of Nature grew more
rapidly. Hitherto it was only in summer that he had felt the presence of
a power in her and yet above her: in winter, now, the sky was true and
deep, though the world was waste and sad; and the tones of the wind
that roared at night about the goddess-haunted house, and moaned in the
chimneys of the lowly dwelling that nestled against it, woke harmonies
within him which already he tried to spell out falteringly. Miss St.
John began to find that he put expressions of his own into the simple
things she gave him to play, and even dreamed a little at his own will
when alone with the passive instrument. Little did Mrs. Falconer think
into what a seventh heaven of accursed music she had driven her boy.
But not yet did he tell his friend, much as he loved and much as he
trusted her, the little he knew of his mother's sorrows and his father's
sins, or whose the hand that had struck him when she found him lying in
the waste factory.
For a time almost all his trouble about God went from him. Nor do I
think that this was only because he rarely thought of him at all: God
gave him of himself in Miss St. John. But words dropped now and then
from off the shelves where his old difficulties lay, and they fell like
seeds upon the heart of Miss St. John, took root, and rose in thoughts:
in the heart of a true woman the talk of a child even will take life.
One evening Robert rose from the table, not unwatched of his
grandmother, and sped swiftly and silently through the dark, as was his
custom, to enter the chamber of enchantment. Never before had his hand
failed to alight, sure as a lark on its nest, upon the brass handle of
the door that admitted him to his paradise. It missed it now, and fell
on something damp, and rough, and repellent instead. Horrible, but true
suspicion! While he was at school that day, his grandmother, moved by
what doubt or by what certainty she never revealed, had had the doorway
walled up. He felt the place all over. It was to his hands the living
tomb of his mother's vicar on earth.
He returned to his book, pale as death, but said never a word. The next
day the stones were plastered over.
Thus the door of bliss vanished from the earth. And neither the boy nor
his grandmother ever said that it had been.
PART II.--HIS YOUTH.
CHAPTER I. ROBERT KNOCKS--AND THE DOOR IS NOT OPENED.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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