“I don’t know whether you believe in presentiments,” said Mrs. Light,
“and I don’t care! I have had one for the last fifteen years. People
have laughed at it, but they have n’t laughed me out of it. It has been
everything to me. I could n’t have lived without it. One must believe in
something! It came to me in a flash, when Christina was five years old.
I remember the day and the place, as if it were yesterday. She was a
very ugly baby; for the first two years I could hardly bear to look at
her, and I used to spoil my own looks with crying about her. She had an
Italian nurse who was very fond of her and insisted that she would grow
up pretty. I could n’t believe her; I used to contradict her, and we
were forever squabbling. I was just a little silly in those days--surely
I may say it now--and I was very fond of being amused. If my daughter
was ugly, it was not that she resembled her mamma; I had no lack of
amusement. People accused me, I believe, of neglecting my little girl;
if it was so, I ‘ve made up for it since. One day I went to drive on the
Pincio in very low spirits. A trusted friend had greatly disappointed
me. While I was there he passed me in a carriage, driving with a
horrible woman who had made trouble between us. I got out of my carriage
to walk about, and at last sat down on a bench. I can show you the spot
at this hour. While I sat there a child came wandering along the path--a
little girl of four or five, very fantastically dressed in crimson and
orange. She stopped in front of me and stared at me, and I stared at her
queer little dress, which was a cheap imitation of the costume of one
of these contadine. At last I looked up at her face, and said to myself,
‘Bless me, what a beautiful child! what a splendid pair of eyes, what a
magnificent head of hair! If my poor Christina were only like that!’ The
child turned away slowly, but looking back with its eyes fixed on me.
All of a sudden I gave a cry, pounced on it, pressed it in my arms,
and covered it with kisses. It was Christina, my own precious child, so
disguised by the ridiculous dress which the nurse had amused herself in
making for her, that her own mother had not recognized her. She knew me,
but she said afterwards that she had not spoken to me because I looked
so angry. Of course my face was sad. I rushed with my child to the
carriage, drove home post-haste, pulled off her rags, and, as I may say,
wrapped her in cotton. I had been blind, I had been insane; she was
a creature in ten millions, she was to be a beauty of beauties, a
priceless treasure! Every day, after that, the certainty grew. From that
time I lived only for my daughter. I watched her, I caressed her from
morning till night, I worshipped her. I went to see doctors about her,
I took every sort of advice. I was determined she should be perfection.
The things that have been done for that girl, sir--you would n’t believe
them; they would make you smile! Nothing was spared; if I had been told
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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