Roister Doister: Written, probably also represented, before 1553. Carefully edited from the unique copy, now at Eton CollegeUdall, Nicholas
General
Roister Doister: Written, probably also represented, before 1553. Carefully edited from the unique copy, now at Eton College
Udall, Nicholas
English drama (Comedy)
+M. Mery.+ I can not blame him sir, though your blowes wold him greue.
For he knoweth present death to ensue of all ye geue.
+R. Royster.+ Well, this man for once hath purchased thy pardon.
+Scriuener.+ And what say ye to me? or else I will be gon.
+R. Royster.+ I say the letter thou madest me was not good.
+Scriuener.+ Then did ye wrong copy it of likelyhood.
+R. Royster.+ Yes, out of thy copy worde for worde I wrote.
+Scriuener.+ Then was it as ye prayed to haue it I wote,
But in reading and pointyng there was made some faulte.
+R. Royster.+ I wote not, but it made all my matter to haulte.
+Scriuener.+ Howe say you, is this mine originall or no?
+R. Royster.+ The selfe same that I wrote out of, so mote I go.
+Scriuener.+ Loke you on your owne fist, and I will looke on this,
And let this man be iudge whether I reade amisse.
To myne owne dere coney birde, sweete heart, and
Good mistresse Custance, present these by and by.
How now? doth not this superscription agree?
+R. Royster.+ Reade that is within, and there ye shall the fault see.
+Scriuener.+ Sweete mistresse, where as I loue you, nothing at all
Regarding your richesse and substance: chiefe of all
For your personage, beautie, demeanour and witte
I commende me vnto you: Neuer a whitte
Sory to heare reporte of your good welfare.
For (as I heare say) suche your conditions are,
That ye be worthie fauour: Of no liuing man
To be abhorred: of euery honest man
To be taken for a woman enclined to vice
Nothing at all: to vertue giuing hir due price.
Wherfore concerning mariage, ye are thought
Suche a fine Paragon, as nere honest man bought.
And nowe by these presents I doe you aduertise,
That I am minded to marrie you: In no wyse
For your goodes and substance: I can be content
To take you as you are: yf ye will be my wife,
Ye shall be assured for the time of my life,
I wyll keepe you right well: from good raiment and fare,
Ye shall not be kept: but in sorowe and care
Ye shall in no wyse lyue: at your owne libertie,
Doe and say what ye lust: ye shall neuer please me
But when ye are merrie: I will bee all sadde
When ye are sorie: I wyll be very gladde
When ye seeke your heartes ease: I will be vnkinde
At no time: in me shall ye muche gentlenesse finde.
But all things contrary to your will and minde
Shall be done otherwise: I wyll not be behynde
To speake: And as for all they that woulde do you wrong,
(I wyll so helpe and maintayne ye) shall not lyue long.
Nor any foolishe dolte shall cumber you, but I,
I, who ere say nay, wyll sticke by you tyll I die.
Thus good mistresse Custance, the lorde you saue and kepe.
From me Roister Doister, whether I wake or slepe,
Who fauoureth you no lesse, (ye may be bolde)
Than this letter purporteth, which ye haue vnfolde.
Now sir, what default can ye finde in this letter?
+R. Royster.+ Of truth in my mynde there can not be a better.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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