She sat down on a bench in the shadows, beside me, and rested her poor
pale head against me.
I knew that when she did this it was somewhat with the feeling of
slight consolation, like that of a poor animal when it no longer feels
itself abused. I was held by an infinite pity for this friend. I knew
that she looked at her trade as an important task, however ungrateful
it was. For a long time she waited thus for the train to the suburb
where she lived.
One evening she asked if she might go with me to the end of the
street.
We came to a great lighted square where there was a large theater. On
one of the pillars of this edifice was a brilliant, gilded poster. It
represented Sarah Bernhardt in the costume of Tosca, I believe. She
wore a stiff rich robe and held a palm in her hand. And I called to
mind the things I had been told of this famous woman: her caprices
that were immediately obeyed, her extravagances, her coffin, her
pride.
I felt the poor little sufferer trembling at my side. She saw
this barbarous idol rise up and throw unconsciously upon her the
splattering flood of her golden ornaments.
And I had a desire to cry out with grief at this meeting face to face
of the two. And I said to myself:
"They are both born of woman. One holds a palm, and the other an old
umbrella so shabby that she does not dare to open it before me.
"The one trails an admiring throng at her feet, and the other tatters
of leather. The one sells her sorrow for the weight of gold and not
a sob comes from her mouth that does not have the clinking sound of
gold. Not a single sob of the other is heard."
And something cried aloud within me:
"The one is a human actress. She is applauded because she is of the
same clay as those who listen to her. And they have need of the lie on
which the most beautiful roles are builded.
"But the other, she is an actress of God. She plays a part so great
and so sorrowful that she has not found one man who understands her
and who is rich enough to pay her.
"And the great actress has never attained, even in her most beautiful
roles, the true genius of sorrow which makes the little prostitute
rest her forehead upon me."
THE GOODNESS OF GOD
She was a dainty and delicate little creature who worked in a shop.
She was, perhaps, not very intelligent, but she had soft, black eyes.
They looked at you a little sadly, and then drooped. You felt that
she was affectionate and commonplace with that tender commonplaceness,
which real poets understand, and which is the absence of hate.
You knew that she was as simple as the modest room in which she lived
alone with her little cat that some one had given her. Every morning
before she went to the shop, she left for her a little bit of milk in
a bowl.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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