Romances of the old town of EdinburghLeighton, Alexander
General
Romances of the old town of Edinburgh
Leighton, Alexander
Edinburgh (Scotland) -- Fiction; Short stories, English -- Scottish authors
No sooner had he read this terrible communication than he was rendered
as rigid as a statue. The only movement that could have been observed
in him was in the fingers of the right hand, as it crumpled up the
paper by the spasm of the muscles acting involuntarily. His eye was
fixed without an object to claim it, and his teeth were clenched as if
he had been seized by lockjaw. Conditions which we use strong words to
describe, as we toil in vain after an expression which must always be
inadequate, even though the words are furnished by the unhappy victim
himself. We try a climax by using such expressions as “palsied brain”
and so forth, all the while forgetting that we are essaying to convey
a condition of inward feeling by external signs, the thing and the
sign being in different categories. As he still sat under the stunning
effect of the letter, the waiter entered to clear the table, but when
he saw the letter in the clenched hand he retreated from the scene of
a private grief, which a foreign interference would only have tended
to irritate; but probably the noise of the closing door helped the
reaction which comes sooner or later to all victims of moral assaults,
and by and by he began to think--to see the whole details of the
tragedy--to be conscious of the full extent of his misery. It was not
yet time for the beginning of relief, for these conditions are subject
to the law of recurrence. Like the attacks of an ague they exhaust
themselves by repetition, and Nature’s way is at best but a cruel
process of wearing out the sensibility of the palpitating nerve.
How long these oscillations lasted before the unhappy victim was able
to leave his seat, we cannot tell. But as all thought is motion, so is
all motion action. He could not retreat from the inevitable destiny.
He must move on in the maze of the puppets. He must face the dead body
of his wife. He must bury her, if he should never be able to lay the
haunting spirit of memory. All business must be suspended, to leave the
soul to the energies necessary for encountering the ordeal. A certain
hardness, which belongs to the last feelings of despair, enabled him,
even with something like deliberation, to go through the preparations
of departure; but in this he exhibited merely the regularity of a
machine, which obeys the imposed power behind. At eleven o’clock he was
seated in the coach, as one placed there to be moved on and on, mile
by mile, to see the dead body of a wife, whose smiling face, as he had
seen it last, was still busy with his fancy, and whose voice, as he had
heard her sing at the parting supper, still rang in his ears.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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