Item, that if there is hide or pelt on a carcase before a butcher's stall, you may take for granted it is a British carcase. Foreign meat has to be skinned to avoid the risk of importation of cattle-disease. And, ultimately, that if you are about to drown yourself in the Thames, and are anxious to avert identification, the best spot to throw yourself off is in the neighbourhood of a ship at moorings, as then you are likely to be drawn under her and kept in the chains for months. Some readers who are unaware that there were no gentlemen with coat-armour in the College of Apostles, may object that in presenting them to Wat I am introducing them to low society; but I can assure them that I have seen a very respectable Duke hail-fellow-well-met with a jockey, and my friend Wat has a far fuller education than the primest of jockeys. He is apt and accurate in quotations from English literature; and if you venture to make Greeks "meet" Greeks in his presence, or talk of fresh "fields" and pastures new, or attribute the tempering of the wind to the shorn lamb to Holy Writ, he will lay you ten to one in sovereigns you are wrong, and win your money. He is also a champion orthographist, and will back himself to spell English words against any man in the British Empire for £500, bar words technical. "Ah," he said, "my noble! is it true you are going on a lecturing-tour next winter?" "If God but spare me health and lung-power I am," was my reply. "And wherefore, may I ask? Can you not do better at the desk?" "The desk is monotonous; besides, I yearn for change, and I may be able to freshen up my ideas, and set down some notes in my tables. 'Twill improve intellectual and physical health." "It will, of course," agreed Wat. "For instance, it will be perfectly delightful journeying to Inverness, say, in the depth of December." "As it so happens, I am booked for Inverness on a date in that month." Wat stared at me. "Do you know," he said, "'tis a far cry to Loch Awe, and Inverness is at the other side of Loch Awe? Thither and back from where we stand is eleven hundred and ninety miles." I was surprised; I had not entered into these details; but I held my peace. "Have you got many engagements?" "Yes; the first was from Dollar, which I accept as a good omen; and, curiously enough, 'tis not in the United States." "No," said Wat; "'tis between Edinburgh and Stirling. What fee do they tender you there?" I told him. "Ahem!" he continued, fondling his chin as he spoke. "If you don't cumber yourself with luggage--a courier-bag will do--and if you bus it to King's Cross, and stop at a temperance hotel in 'Auld Reekie,' and give servants no tips, and condescend to all invitations, with a wise economy, I take it, you won't drop more than five-and-twenty shillings on that transaction." "How! What do you mean? You surely are not serious?" "Why, the railway return fare to Edinburgh alone is five-pun-nine-and-six; and that will burn a hole in your fee."