England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Guardian and ward -- Fiction; Physicians -- Fiction; Single men -- Fiction
It was our last evening. To-morrow the little mawf was to fly away
towards those great flames, London, Art, and Independence, all capable of
scorching very acutely. To Rose the hours were all a prelude to
adventure; to me a promise of loneliness. For so long this graceful, gay
enthusiast had been lighting up my house; and now I was to be forsaken.
At seventy that is no particular joke.
To what extent Rose had pondered on what might lightly be called the
selfishness of her programme, I cannot say. Perhaps not at all, but I
think that very unlikely. My own attitude to her desertion, although I
did my best to make it whimsical, must have turned her thoughts that way.
But having pondered, might she not very properly have decided that such
selfishness was her only course? Our duty is not always to others.
Comparatively lost as I was going to be, I certainly did not want her to
make the sacrifice of remaining. Why should she? What right has seventy
to cramp the style of twenty? Too many young people are harnessed—more
than harnessed, shackled—to the old, for me to be willing to add to their
number. I have watched youthful lives being sapped and thwarted in this
way ever since I have been in practice, and I had always vowed that never
would I be guilty of a similar tyranny. And now here I was with the
temptation!
But it was not the temptation that it might have been had Rose come to me
and said, “Look here, Dombeen, I can’t leave you all alone. It isn’t
fair. I’ll give up this London scheme and we’ll go on being happy
together.” Even then, however, I hope I should have been strong enough
to say No. In fact, I know I should; for what is the use of binding a
girl of eighteen, or letting her bind herself? Art she might relinquish;
but what would happen when Love appeared? How could I keep her to her
promise then? Better face the music, take the fence, cut the knot now,
and be brave about it.
* * * * *
We sat long after dinner on that last evening. Rose’s boxes were packed,
her room at the Hostel and her easel at the Slade awaited her. She had
said all her good-byes in the neighbourhood, and no doubt more than one
of her dancing friends had her address in his pocket-book. In short,
practically every boat was burnt. All our talk, therefore, was of the
future. If Eustace was not too unwilling, she said, she should go to
Paris after a while. As a maffact, Paris was, of course, the place.
London was only a makeshift. She would probably go on to Paris
anyway—father or no father. Because one must be thorough. London was
looking up—everybody said so—Chelsea had produced some wonderful
things—but for an artist Paris was the true Alma Mater. Even Chelsea had
had to go to Paris first.
It was all a question of money. Surely when she was twenty-one her
father would allow her something reasonable?
“Not for the purpose of doing anything of which he might disapprove,” I
said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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