"Electra," she said, "you've got to be awfully careful of yourself."
There was a wistful kindness in her voice. It was as if she spoke to one
whom she wished to regard leniently, though she might in reality shower
her with that elfin raillery which was the outcome of her own
inquietude.
Electra opened her eyes in a candid wonder.
"Careful of myself?" she repeated. "Why, grandmother?"
"You've trained so hard, child. You've trained down to a point where
it's dangerous for you to try to live."
"Trained down, grandmother? I am very well."
"I don't mean your body. I mean, you've thought of yourself and your
virtues and your tendencies, and tested yourself with tubes and examined
yourself under a glass until you're nothing but a bundle of
self-conscious virtues. Why, it would be better for you if you were a
care-free spontaneous murderess. You'd be less dangerous."
"Suppose we don't talk about it any more," said Electra, in that
soothing accent suited to age.
"But I've got to talk about it. I never have done any particular duty by
you, but I suppose the duty's there. I've got to tell you when you sail
into dangerous latitudes. You mark my words, Electra, assure as you sit
there, you've trained so hard that there's got to be a reaction. Some
day you'll fly all to pieces and make an idiot of yourself."
Electra had risen.
"Excuse me for a moment, grandmother," she said. "I must get you a glass
of wine."
Madam Fulton, too, got up and rested one hand upon the table.
"If you leave the room before I've finished," she cried, "I'll scream it
after you." A small red spot had come upon each cheek. She looked like a
fairy god-mother, a pinpoint of fury in the eye. "I insist upon your
listening. God Almighty meant you for a handsome, well-behaved woman.
You're not clever. There's no need of your being. But you've made
yourself so intelligent that you're as dull as death. You've cultivated
your talents till you've snapped them all in two. You've tried so hard
to be a model of conduct that you're a horror, a positive horror. And
you mark my words, the reaction will come and you'll do something so
idiotic that you won't know yourself. And then when you're disgraced and
humble, then will be the time I shall begin to like you."
She was shaking all over, and Electra looked at her in great alarm. She
dared not speak lest the paroxysm should come again. A little new gleam
sprang into Madam Fulton's eyes. At last she realized that she had,
though by ignoble means, quite terrified her granddaughter. That one
humorous certainty was enough, for the time, to mitigate her plight. She
drew a quick breath, and shrugged her shoulders.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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