Rosamond sat down on the slanting floor, lifted and took into her lap—as
a mother may lift her dead child from the cradle—the old leather case
that contained in such small compass so great a story; Captain English’s
papers of the siege. The parcel had been delivered to her even as he
had prepared it for her. To the elastic band that clasped it a scrap of
paper was still pinned: "For my wife."
And she had never opened it!
All these years his voice had been waiting to speak to her; his own
words for her had been there, the last cry of his soul to hers; nay—how
did she know?—the message that should have shaped her future. Something
of himself that could not die, he had left her, something of himself to
go with her through the desolation! But she, the wife so tenderly loved
and thought of to the last—she had, as it were, denied herself to his
death-bed. She had closed her ears to his dying speech. She had thrust
his dear ghost from her. How was it possible for any woman to have been
so cruel, so cowardly? How was it possible ... yet it had been!
"It is we who make our dead dead," had said the mourning mother.
Rosamond, the wife, had done worse: she had buried what was not yet
dead. She had heaped earth upon the lips that still spoke, that she
might not feel the sorrow of their last utterance!
When trouble comes it is woman’s way, as a rule, to yield herself up to
it, to gloat upon her grief, to feed upon tears. She has a fine scorn
for man’s mode of mourning, so different from hers; for the seeker of
distraction, of forgetfulness; for his deliberate shunning of those
emotions in which she sinks herself. And yet it may be that this
divergence comes less from man’s more selfish nature than from the fact
that he is a creature of passion, where she is a creature of sentiment;
that he knows within himself forces which are to her undreamed of; that
her sorrow is as the chill rain that wraps the land and clears in
lassitude at last over tender tints, while his sorrow is as the dry
convulsion that defaces the earth and rends the foundations of life’s
whole edifice.
But there are women apart; women who unite with their own innate
spirituality the virile capacity of feeling; who can love fiercely and
suffer as fiercely. Of such was Rosamond. And she had been called to
suffering before her undeveloped girl-nature had had time to lay hold on
love. Love and sorrow, they had fallen upon her together, in her
ignorant youth, like monstrous angels of destruction. What wonder then
that she should have cried out against them and hidden her face! What
wonder that she should have shrunk with a sickly terror from her own
unplumbed deep capacity for pain!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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