Bethune could not yet face the marvel of the situation. He had yet no
power over his dazed brain to bring it to realise that for so long he
had been living near his old comrade in the flesh, and had not known—he
who had not passed a day, since their parting, without living with him
in the spirit! Still less could he speculate upon the reasons of
English’s incognito, upon his singular scheme, his recklessness of his
own reputation; nor by what miracle he had been saved from death; nor by
what freakish cruelty of fate he had been buried from their ken till the
irreparable had been worked on other lives.
No; Bethune had no single thought to spare from the overwhelming fact of
what he had himself done.
How silent was this house, now, in the dawn! And how much worse was
silence than the most ominous sounds. Was it not his own silence that
had betrayed both himself and his friend?
He packed deliberately, feeling the while a fleeting childish warmth of
comfort in the thought that Harry wore his old shooting-jacket—that
Harry had still something of his about him. He folded the discarded
babu garments with almost tender touch. Then he paused and hesitated.
There were the papers—the damnable, foolish papers that had started all
the mischief; and these he must sort. Some must be destroyed; some, not
his to deal with, must be laid by before he could leave the place.
He stole to the door, carrying his portmanteau. There was no fear of his
meeting any of those whom he dreaded; for, in the rambling old house,
his floor had a little breakneck stairs to itself which landed him in a
passage outside the hall.
There was a stir of life and a leap of firelight behind the half-open
door of the kitchen; but, in a panic, he passed quickly out of reach of
the voices lest he should hear. Was she dying ... or dead? Or, since
joy does not kill, was she happy in a sublime egotism of two? He had no
courage for the tidings—whatever they might be.
The little room where he had worked with such fervour was filled with a
grey glimmer that filtered in through the mist-hung orchard trees. The
fire had been set but not yet lit. He put a match to it; he would have
much to burn. Then he sat down by the table and drew forth his
manuscripts. The last line he had written—that line set only yesterday
from a full heart—met his eye:
English was then in the perfection of his young manhood—a
splendid specimen of an Englishman, athletic, handsome,
intellectual, a born leader of men, and withal, the truest
comrade ever a man had.
Out of the half-finished page, the past rose at Raymond Bethune and
smote him in the face. So had he written, so had he thought of Harry
English yesterday, when he believed him dead.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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