A man of more sanguine temperament, of more imaginative mind, might well
have comforted himself with explanatory reflections, with reasons so
plausible for his own behaviour, that he must end by believing in them
himself, regarding his own act in a gradually changing light, till it
assumed a venial, not to say meritorious, aspect. But Raymond Bethune,
with his narrow conception of life, with his few, deep-cut affections,
had this in him—virtue or deficiency—that he could not lie. And now he
knew the naked truth. He knew that, when his only friend had come from
out the dead and laid claim upon him, in the overwhelming surprise of
the moment he had betrayed friendship—that some unknown base self had
sprung into life. He had not been glad—he had not been glad ... and
Harry had seen it. Harry had read into his heart—and there had read,
not gladness but dismay.
The sweat started again upon Bethune’s forehead as he re-lived that
moment and again saw his failing soul mirrored in the wide pupils of
English’s eyes.
* * * * *
Outside, upon the grey-brown twisted boughs of the apple-tree nearest
the window, a robin began to sing. The insidious sweetness of the
little voice pierced the lonely man to the marrow, with an intolerable
pang of self-pity. He looked out on the bleak winter scene of the
garden, where the mist hung in shreds across the sodden grass, over the
bare boughs. It was an old, old orchard and the trees were leprous with
grey lichen. It seemed as though they could not bear flower or fruit
again. Vaguely, for his brain was not apt to image, he thought: "In
some such desolation lies the future for me." And if the robin sang—oh,
if the robin sang—its message never could be for him!
His eye wandered back into the room. Here had he worked so many days,
in austere, high ardour of loyalty. Aye, and yonder, in the armchair,
had she sat; and he had judged her from this same altitude of mind. Now
he knew himself better, saw the earthy soul of him as it really was.
All his anger, all his scorn, all his antagonism, from the very first
instant when her pale luminous beauty had dawned upon him, had been but
fine-sounding words in his own mind to hide the thing, the fact—his
passion for Harry English’s wife!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account